#i feel like they mind their business a lot of money isn’t involved in the picture

[cocogum]

An enutrof’s longevity reflects their god’s dragonic form.

I completely believe that the ONLY ACTUAL reason why enutrofs look so freaking old all the time is because since their god has the appearance of a dragon, they get the privilege of having heir lives extended for a few more centuries lol

Enutrof is a literal representation of a dragon guarding his treasures in his cave so they would obviously try to hunt as much money as they can by taking advantage of the longevity that they inherited from him.

You can’t tell me that their intro page showcases them already old and NOT explain to me why that is the case if you don’t think the same way!

The older an enutrof is, the more experienced he or she is at treasure hunting.

I feel like this is what enutrofs love to think about amongst themselves which is why they’re the only race known to present themselves looking already so old compared to the other classes. For an enutrof, being old is the trend and is a way to show how long you pursued money. So the older you are as an enutrof, the more people will automatically assume you have more riches than them.

They’re also the only ones who we get to see live as long as Joris. JORIS who is someone who keeps a DRAGON within him at all times (since birth actually).

Examples like this are Ruel, Arpagone, Alibert, and even Ruel’s freaking GRANDMA.

In short, if you wanna live like a dragon, enutrofs are a good pick besides eliatropes lol

[slutofpsh]

f1 racer | psh.

part one

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

synopsis: f1 racer park sunghoon is the ace of their team until he got into a terrible accident causing of his sudden hiatus. the incident injured his shoulder and affected his mental health. you are hired by his mother to help him get through this tough times as you are one of the best psychiatrist in town. he hated the idea of being vulnerable so instinctively, he hates you. he hates how you try to get into his head for him to open up and he hates his parents for meddling with his life like he’s a kid. but he couldn’t deny that you are exceptionally beautiful and he can’t help his cock from twitching just by imagining pushing you down on your office table, fucking you deep and hard until you can’t think straight anymore.

wc: 14k

warnings: mdni. smut with slight plot, lots of dirty talking, degrading, corruption kink, minors dni, p into v raw (please always use protection), dom sunghoon, slight rough sex, reader experiencing sexual harassment. IF YOU DON’T LIKE ANY OF THIS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SCROLL AWAY.

note: i have no right and enough knowledge with medical terms so disregard my claims as it came from my imagination to fit my plot. i’m new with writing smuts so please don’t give rude comments. i am still learning. also please send me asks and reblog my work. it will help a lot. thank you so much!

slutofpsh 2024 © all right reserved.

“Famous ace racer of the team (f1 team) reportedly caught on an accident last night. Medics who said to arrive at the scene says that he was in a bad condition...” the voice of the news reporter serves as your background music as you’re busy putting coffee on your brewing machine.

It was yet another busy monday for you. One of your colleagues gave you a ring moments ago just to ask you for a favor to fill in for her. You’re suppose to go at the hospital after lunch, but that plan was thrown far out the window.

Being someone who needs to pay expensive rent and lots of bills, you accepted it in exchange of receiving her full payment for these sessions.

People around you always says how workaholic you are and that you should at least learn to loosen up, have fun, date and have sex. You’ll be lying if you say those thoughts didn’t popped inside your mind once in a while, but you knew you have bigger responsibilities at the moment.

Maybe you’ll do all that once you’re a little bit more stable in life. Right now, its not the case so you have to go work.

The drive to the hospital you’re currently working at was short. Multiple vans of tv media reporters blocked the parking lot, putting you off into a slightly foul mood. You groaned and tried your best to find a good spot without scratching any of the vehicles around.

“What in the world is happening...” you softly mumbled, clueless.

After finally making it inside alive, you saw your secretary arriving just on time. She smiles and wave at the sight of you and head towards the elevator together. The sight of the security pushing the reporters out caught your attention before the door of the lift shuts completely.

“Wah, media these days are scary. How can celebrities stand them?” your secretary commented, probably annoyed by all the chaos at the lobby.

“Yeah, they’re basically getting crazy down there.”

She nods, agreeing.

“I can’t blame them. One of the biggest personality in our country got into an accident last night so they’re probably trying to get a scoop of information as much as they can.” she continuously fills you in.

Your head nods slowly, not totally interested about the ‘one of the biggest personality’ being mentioned. This hospital is pretty much located at the center of the big city and famous people often comes here. It isn’t a big deal anymore for you.

Besides, you're more interested on how you will make more money rather than be nosy of who’s confined at your hospital. The last thing you would want is to get involve with a big personality.

The day went on smoothly, met up with the clients scheduled for today. You started packing up after your last session, it was around 4pm. This is why you like to be busy, because its more convenient for you. Days pass by quickly and you’re off to your home even before you know it.

Three knocks from the door to your office is what snapped you back to reality. Your white coat hangs slightly loose over one of your shoulder as you’re about to take it off. The possiblity of that person knocking to be your secretary is low, since she usually alert you through the intercom that she will come in before knocking.

After taking off your coat, your eyes are still darted at the direction of your office door.

“Come in.” you softly stated and you heard the sound of the knob moving.

“I heard from the lobby that you are here so I thought I should make a visit.” his professional tone, yet a little softer rings to your head.

Your eyes grow a little out of surprise then you bowed your head for greeting. His eyes scanned you shortly before it moves around your cozy office. He already made multiple compliments on how your office just feels so warm and comforting.

That’s exactly the vibe you wanted to give off when you personally chose the furnitures and design for this room. Since you’re a psychiatrist who focused on patients who experienced traumatic incidents in their life, you don’t want the location of your sessions to have the impression of a workplace. Patients usually go here to meet you for sessions and their peace of mind and comfort is what you prioritize the most.

“Oh, thank you...” you flash him an awkward smile, hands rests at both of your sides.

It isn’t a surprise that your director paid you a visit for today. He always does that in order to keep on check with his employees. You appreciate it, truly. It's just he’s a little too friendly towards you. Sometimes it makes you uncomfy and afraid that other doctors may misunderstood things.

“Anyway, you must had a long day.” he took steps closer and when you’re reachable, he stretches an arm over you. His hand rests at your shoulder and he clapped on it gently before sliding it down your arm to caress it.

It sent shivers through your spine and you didn’t like it one bit. Unfortunately, you have no choice but to live through it for now. As he’s very powerful and one bad word from him and you can kiss your job goodbye. That’s the last thing you want.

“I should leave you.” he says in a low voice while eyes roams around your face.

You hated every second of it, but you didn’t say anything. He smiles and you flashed him one as well. He raised his hand and lightly pinched your cheeks once before exiting himself from your office.

Finally out of your sight, you manage to sigh heavily. You've been holding your breath ever since he entered your office. It’s slightly making you feel bad, but you feel like he will take advantage of you sooner or later. The feeling of uneasiness are very evident whenever he’s around you.

It’s bad to judge people easily, but that’s mainly it is. You’ve spent years studying and understanding human’s way of thinking. Resulting for your instincts around them to be heavily accurate most of the time.

And your instinct are setting off negatively with your director. The only solution you can think of is to quit this job after you have enough money to build your own small clinic.

In order to have that, you have to work extra hard. For your dream and for your peace of mind.

You finished packing your things and left your floor. While inside the elevator, it stops at a certain floor. You unconsciously moved towards the side giving whoever it is a space for the lift. When the door opened, a beautiful woman wearing black sexy dress steps in.

She seems surprised to see that there’s somebody inside and so her teary eyes grew a bit big. Avoiding to make the atmosphere even more awkward, you bowed and flashed her a warm smile. She nods and glanced away.

Based on how she carry and dress herself, you can tell that her line of work may have something to do with her face. Model? That’s one of your guesses.

By the short eye contact with her teary eyes, you catch a glimpse of guilt and small regret filling them. And also greed that’s trying to push them all at the back of her mind.

You tried to shove these thoughts off of your mind as you’re practically done with work. Even if you cannot help trying to read people’s personality base on first impression, you have strict rules of avoiding it once shift is over.

You’re the first one to leave the lift as you get off at the lobby where you entered this morning. Ignoring her eyes watching you closely as you walk off without sparing her any glance.

It was a long day for you and the last thing you want is to get involve with some drama. Obviously, she’s going through something. But what’s new to that? Everyone in this world is going through things. We just really have to keep it altogether and wait until things gets better for us.

It's been months and you put your focus on making money. Working really hard, filling in for your colleagues and also attending your own session. It was a routine you got used to, world revolving between home and to the hospital.

“There she is,” you bowed politely as you enter the office of your head doctor for the psychiatric ward.

Three heads snapped at your direction as you approach closer and the two of them are completely unfamiliar for you. By the way they dress, you can already tell that they’re important people. The type of people who reeks of money and connections.

“Mr and Mrs. Park, this is Doctor (surname).” your director introduced you to them. Even if you’re a little confused, you gave them a polite bow before sitting down at the chair in front of them.

“She’s the most recommended psychiatrist in our hospital and I really think she’s the one who can help your son.” the director added that made you realized that the two people in front are potention source of income.

With a warm welcoming smile, you pay close attention to the two of them to give good impression. Mr. Park have a serious look on his face, just a small smile from earlier and that’s all. Just by the looks of it, he’s a very reserved man. He seem to know the power he holds and so you guess he isn’t someone very friendly. Doesn’t really try hard to please other people.

Mrs. Park is elegant. The perfect epitome of graceful partner of somebody who holds so much power. She is very pretty as well, her smiles gives you the impression that she’s very family oriented.

“Their son needs assistance as he got involve with an accident months ago.” your head doctor tried to fill you up and instantly, you are on your professional mode.

With a nod, you smoothly fished your pen placed at the small pocket of your white gown then grabbed a paper not far away from you.

“Hmm, may I ask you guys a few questions?”

Mr. and Mrs. Park’s a little caught off-guard at how straightforward you are so they glanced over the head doctor. She quickly flashed them assuring smile.

“Go ahead, I’m sure Doctor (surname) perfectly knows what to do.” she added and with her words, they seem to let their guards down slightly.

“Yes, Doctor.” Mrs. Park says.

You smiled, “Does the patient personally asked to seek for professional help?”

Its a key point to know for you to know what kind of approach you need to utilize for this particular patient.

“No. Actually, he refused to see doctors and deny his need of it, claiming he’s perfectly fine. But me and his Father really wants him to atleast try.” the look on her eyes flashes genuine care and concern for her son.

“That’s totally okay, Mrs. Park. Sometimes, people who underwent accidents tries to deny that something changed within them when in reality there is. May I ask any behavioral changes within the patient, if there any?” and you continued jotting down on your paper.

Mr. Park silently watched how well you’re dealing with them. You looked so young, maybe around the age of their son and yet this is how professionally you handle things. His tensed shoulder relaxed a bit, realizing that they did the right choice of coming here.

“Yes...” Mrs. Park pursed her lips, blinks a couple of times trying not to get emotional just by the thought of her son.

“He shuts people out, doesn’t communicate with anybody and he gets pissed or annoyed so easily.” she sighs, eyes getting teary. “I mean, he doesn’t really have the best patience even prior to the accident but he’s just oddly cranky.”

You nodded your head and just proceeds on writing them down. This isn’t the first time you encountered patients that have the same personality with their son. This is what happens when someone had an accident that affected their life. They can be undergoing through post traumatic depression which is pretty serious as it can be dangerous.

“Can I schedule his sessions?”

They looked relieved at your question, happy that you agreed to take their son. Mrs. Park nodded her head and you continued on discussing them through the process of the sessions, letting them the available slots they can arrange for their son.

Normally, you would take patients to meet patients two times a week but they demand for a three meetings per week. You are a little hesitant about it because that only means you have to put him on Fridays as well. It's your day off.

“Please, Doctor. We will pay extra for the friday sessions.” and there it is. They offered you what you couldn’t decline the most.

Oh how nice could it be to have so much money. After finally settling with the Parks, you managed to agree on the schedules and they thanked you. They told you that they really hope you can help their son. You haven’t met him yet and one rule with doctors is you couldn’t give them false hope, but you shouldn’t give them the impression of failing as well.

“I will do my best.” and you bowed.

You parted ways with them and you went straight to your shared room with your colleague, also a good friend of yours. The moment you stepped in, you can feel her piercing and curious eyes following you.

“So did you accept it?” your head cranes over to the side to glance at Hana. She’s still wearing her white coat while she rest her back at the swivel chair. As far as you remember, her shift is over already. Why she’s still here is a big mystery for you.

“Yes. It’s a good offer.” you gave her a short shoulder shrug.

She sighs and watch how you took off your white coat then hangs it on your chair. Obviously, you are clueless of the situation you just got yourself into. She hates how workaholic you are and how you’re one of the best psychiatrist in the hospital. Mainly why you’re at the top list of the recommended doctors.

Not that she envy you or anything. She genuinely cares for you and she’s worried of how you’re overworking yourself. Not to mention you’ll be having someone very important as your client.

“Do you know who’s going to be your patient?” her tone sounded challenging, arms crossing as she waits for your answer.

You nod your head, eye glancing at the folder laid beside your keyboard. It was handed by your secretary while you discuss something with the head doctor. She reminded you to do a good job as accepting the Park’s can either do good or bad for you.

“Yes. Mr. Park Sunghoon.” you said in a monotonous tone.

She rolls her eyes, “He’s not just Park Sunghoon, y/n.” she sighs and tilts her head. “He’s the ace driver of a famour F1 team. The young bachelor who got into a terrible accident three months ago.”

That clearly rings a bell. You can remember how some of the hospital staffs are going crazy for such individual. F1 racers are truly a big thing for your country, but you’re never interested towards it so don’t have any clue who they are.

You’ve always thought that those type of sport are just out of your league. If he manages to drive for the whole country with extremely expensive cars just indicates how wealthy their family is. Sounds like so much drama for you. Not totally your cup of tea, all you want is the good pay.

“Don’t worry, I can handle.” you assured her.

“I know you’re good with your job, y/n and I have no doubt with your skills.” she starts that slightly moved you. She rarely talks like this and to hear it right now means she’s really serious about it.

“He’s known for being very stubborn. If he’s already like that before the accident, imagine how he can be much worst after it. I heard he’s refusing to do rehab for his shoulder and to drive again for his team.”

You are dumbfounded for the new informations coming from your friend. When his parents seeked for your help, you already knew that it is serious. But not like this. He’s refusing to drive again?

“y/n?” your friend tries to snap you back to reality.

You let out a sigh and flashes another smile for her. “Did you forget? I’m good with stubborn people. I've been dealing with them ever since I graduated from the University.” you tried to joke on it.

She pouts her lips and heaved a sigh, thinking that maybe she really is just overthinking things. She nods.

“Well, you are right. And besides, he’s dead gorgeous.” then she sent you a wink. You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“You’re unbelievable.”

But it seems like she was not kidding when she said that Park Sunghoon is very hard headed. You think little of it not until you came face to face with the handsome racer.

His visuals are ethereal. No words can perfectly describe how breathtaking he is up in person. Of course, after your friend had informed you that he is handsome, you made research. Trying to just familiarize yourself with your newly acquired client.

It wasn’t hard to find something about him through the internet as he’s very famous. Skin so white and flawless, hair pitch black along with his thick brows and long eyelashes that perfectly decorates around his beautiful eyes. His eyes are slightly cold and blank at the pictures of him you found at the intenet. Over all, he has a face that comes around once in a while. God-like visuals, that’s how they describe him.

The pictures didn’t give him justice though, as he’s even more gorgeous in personal. His red lips pretty much stands out due to his pale complexion.

There are varieties of patients you’ve worked with before. The group who's willingly seek for your help in order for them to get better. Then the patients who was forced to do these sessions for the satisfaction of a family member or a loved one. And then the ones who truly hates it and give you hard time, punishing you for merely wanting to help them professionally.

That’s where Park Sunghoon is aligned. He made sure you perfectly know that he’s against with this arrangement.

“Son, meet Doctor (surname). She’s the one we’re talking about with you. From now on, you will meet her at Mondays—”

“Make her leave.” he insolently cuts his own mother’s words while staring blankly straight at you.

He’s sat down at his sofa, one shoulder have a cast over it. He didn’t even budge from his position and just stares at you with his intimidating eyes. The gray sofa looked a little small while he dominates it. You’re pretty sure that it looked normal when it was his Mom whose sitting there moments ago, but when it was him it looked small due to his large frame.

“Sunghoon, don’t be rude. Doctor (surname) is here to help you.” his Mom looks like she feels sorry for how he’s acting, yet her tone remained soft.

“I don’t need any help.” he said sternly. His eyes are piercing right at you. They are indeed intimidating with his eyebrows furrowed hardly, but this isn’t the first time someone wanted you to leave.

“But Son,” Mrs. Park tries to console him but you interrupted her.

“It’s fine, Mrs. Park.” and you flash her with your warm smile.

“Can you give us a minute?” your eyes then roamed around the room. There’s his Mom and another person inside together with you. She’s the househelper who assist Mr. Park from time to time. A little older than his Mother. Base on your observation, he seems to trust her enough to be inside this room.

“Sure, doctor.” she says and gradually asked the other lady to leave with her.

Sunghoon’s eyes burns at you as you stood in front of him. He didn’t say anything else after they left the room, he just stares at you with dark eyes. He’s so upset and angry for how his parents are dealing with this situation right now. They’re being too much for meddling with their son’s life when he’s already 27.

“Hello, Mr. Park.” you greeted him once again. As expected, he showed no reaction at all.

“I’m Doctor (surname) and I am here to help you—”

“I don’t need your help so leave. I am not crazy.” he cuts you off.

You pursed your lips and nods your head before pulling up another smile. His behavior of declining anyone clearly shows how he doesn’t want to show his vulnerability.

“Of course you’re not. Everybody knows you are not crazy, Mr. Park.” his eyes still bores right at you.

“Your parents hired me so I can help to understand your emotions even more.”

The corner of his lips lifts up as he scoffed, “You think I don’t know my own emotions?”

You shook your head right away, “No. Nobody else knows you the best other than yourself. I’m just here to assist and help you go through emotions you cannot control or understand.”

Sunghoon’s tensed shoulder slightly relaxed at what he heard. He doesn’t know if all psychiatrist are like this, but you sure are good with your job. You know your way of words to people. Or was it just because of your pretty face? Was he distracted a bit too much? Did you noticed?

He draws in a strained sigh and glanced away, letting his guard down a bit. It made you feel happy and take it as a sign that he wanted you to help him. For that session, you tried hard not to overwhelm him too much so instead of asking questions, you orient him about the case he’s possibly going through.

But that didn’t really became easy. He made sure you’re struggling on dealing with him. There’s often change of moods as well, sometimes he’s calm to have you around and sometimes he’s not. He rudely interrupts you talking and constantly asking you to just quit your job and leave him alone.

But he cannot do anything about it. He cannot fire you, because he didn’t hire you on the first place.

It was his Mother who asked for your professional help, so if there’s someone who can tell you that you’re not qualified for the job already, it would be only her.

“Hello y/n!” Hana greets you happily as she enter the room. It was obvious that she’s having a great day, unlike you.

“Hi,” you shortly replied and sat down at your chair.

“Looks like you aren’t in a good mood.” she states the obvious. You gave her a short nod and shut your eyes.

“Why? Did something happen?” she sounded so concerned about you and even walked closer to sit at the table near you.

“Nothing. I have an appointment with Park Sunghoon tomorrow. It should’ve been my day off and now I have to meet with him. He’s still being stubborn.”

It’s been a month ever since you started your sessions with him and still, nothing. He’s been giving you cold shoulders everytime, refusing to even open himself over you. Multiple approach already tried for him and yet, nothing. It’s frustrating you already.

“I know exactly what you need to do.” the brightness from Hana’s eyes gave you slight hope, making you sit straight.

She rummage over her stacks of unopenef parcels and cheered lightly after successfully finding something. She smirks and slowly walks towards you.

“What’s that?” you asked curious and confused.

She smirks and grabbed a cutter to open it up. From a distance, you can tell its a piece of clothing. She squealed a little, delighted of satisfaction for the package received.

“You’re going to wear this tomorrow.” she announced and even placed the opened box at your lap.

You tilt your head, confused. “What? Why? Do I not look good with my work clothes?”

That’s not the case. Your typical work clothes looks fine. The type of style that plays safe not to show too much skin and also not too covered for your liking. It was so-so.

“No, honey. But this time, that’s what you’ll wear tomorrow and then we will buy more at Saturday.” she announced with words of finality.

You gave her a weird gaze before checking the box she just handed you. Your heart dropped at the sight of it.

“No way! There’s no way I will wear this, Hana!” you quickly disagree and teared your gaze off the outfit she just handed you.

“Yes way! It’s time to put that sexy body into a good use!” she exclaimed all excited and even giggled hilariously.

“But my butt cheeks will probably show just by leaning down slightly.” the look of horror flashes over your face. Just by the thought of being exposed to Mr. Park makes you blush intensely, your core undeniably getting wet.

You shoved that thought away, somewhat blaming Hana for putting them inside your mind. She’s being a bad influence towards you right now and your face is red as a tomato.

“Then he will enjoy the view!” she winks and left you with no choice but to wear it for tomorrow's session.

Thankfully, the moment you arrived at his place the next day you are wearing a coat on top of your scandalous (not really) outfit. Okay, maybe you are a little exaggerating for thinking it is scandalous. You’ve seen a lot of people wear this kinds of workclothes, its just you’re new to this. This isn’t your usual go to office clothes.

You tried your best to act confidently, trying to ignore the fact that his gaze was practically glued at you the moment you took off your coat once you two are left alone.

You’re nervous already and having him stare at you that way makes it even worst. Regardless, you tried to proceed on your task for today.

Park Sunghoon may act nonchalant about it, but his pants feels so painfully tight ever since you walked inside his home. An hour long duration felt days for him. Those short skirts and body hugging top that perfectly shows your delicious curves is driving him insane.

Despite the fact that he hates your presence and how his parents hired you to help him, he’ll be lying if he will say that he never thought of rutting his cock so deep inside your precious cunt. He bet it will feel so good. Numerous times he imagined pushing you hardly over your office table, taking you from behind while your soft moans make it to his ears. He imagined fucking you so hard and deep until you cannot think straight anymore.

You on the other hand are sweating like crazy while trying to compose yourself, unaware of the sinful thoughts the man in front of you are currently having. You keep on shifting on your seat, uncomfortable with how your skirt is so tight and short. Thighs are basically suowing and by just one wrong move, you’re pretty sure your underwear will be flashed towards him.

“Something wrong, Doc?” you jolted at his sudden question, breaking the defeaning silence. It was his first words for today.

His playful tone and look on his eyes are quite foreign for you, a little delighted by the new side you discovered from him.

“N-Nothing.” your words almost came out as a mumble that made him chuckle dangerously.

To see you with less clothing sure is torture for him, to see you blushing and squirming nonstop while your underwear almost flash him is clouding his mind with so many thoughts. All dark and dirty.

“You dressed differently today.” he said in a low tone, almost like a growl. The statement halts your hand from scribbling down your paper. You glanced at him and quickly looked away as he was already staring darkly.

You gulped in attempt to get rid of the lump between your throat. The corner of his lips lifts while one of his hands plays mindlessly at it.

“Y-Yeah.” it was obvious for you to deny it.

“What are you trying to do, Doc?” he asks like a trap and once again you are caught off guard.

“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He scoffed sexily and let out a heavy sigh, “Of course you don’t.” then his eyes roams from your feet up to your face and his heated gaze stays at your eyes.

“You fucking don’t know what you are doing.” he said under his breath that you clearly missed. Even before you manage to compose yourself from his stares, he already glanced away then his walls are once again up guarding himself.

The whole session continues with you uncomfortably wet down there and Sunghoon’s dick throbbing inside his pants.

A whole week passes by and all you did was to tempt him. You started wearing tight and short clothes. Whether on purpose or not, it is driving him crazy. The sexual tension between the two of you are so hot. Too hot that whenever you are left alone, it can almost burn you two.

He knew he had to something about it. He can’t get enough of you and his palm cannot satisfy him anymore. He had to get a taste of that pussy or else he will really lose his mind.

It was wednesday and like usual, he’s the one to that have to go to your office. Mondays and friday sessions are held at his place.

He arrived perfectly on time and your assistant guided him inside after your patient before him. It was a guy and the way his face are so red when he walks out is pissing the hell off of Sunghoon. He knew why he’s like that and he confirmed his guess when he saw you with his own eyes.

Wearing a short tight red skirt. You flashed him an angelic smile that seems illegal for how slutty you dress today.

“Mr. Park, you are right on time. Have a sit.” you pointed the sofa where he usually sits and he followed without a single word.

‘I’ll have a sit and you sit on my face right after. How about that?’ he wanted so bad to say that but he refrain himself.

Sunghoon’s eyes dangerously fiest on you while you make yourself comfortable at your chair. The only thing that seperates you between him was the small center table.

“Today, I want to have a conversation with you Mr. Park. Nothing too serious, any topic you like. I just want you to talk.” you stated and smiled at him.

He nods, surprising you a little. He’s never been this cooperative. It’s making you happy and at the same time worried on why he’s suddenly being obedient.

“Any topic, right?” he asks, confirming it from you. A small nod is what you respond to him.

He nods and stayed silent for a while. You thought it was giving him pressure so you assured him that its totally fine and he can take as much time he needs.

While he spaces out, your eyes couldn’t help but to absorb how he looks today.

Park Sunghoon is a walking temptation for you. It was against your rules to be attracted towards your patients, but you just couldn’t help yourself. He’s very handsome despite his rotten attitude. You kept having this sensual thoughts whenever he’s around. It felt so wrong and illegal. How you felt so weak and how you get wet just by looking at his toned arms and veiny hands.

“Do you know who I am? Is that why you accepted to be my psychiatrist?”

You pout your lips and shook your head side to side, cheeks blushing out of embarrasment because you have no idea of who he was until his parents asked you for help.

Instead of looking offended, Sunghoon looked more interested.

“So you don’t have any idea who I was before you accepted this job?” amusment lurks over his tone, finding it somehow amusing.

Not to sound so full of himself, but he’s pretty famous. Not only to his home country, but to the whole world. The bitterness slowly creeps over his chest by the thought of it. He shoves it off his mind because that’s not important as of the moment.

You nod your head sincerely while eyes darted straight at the handsome man sat across of you. His long legs are spread while one of his arm rests at the side of the couch, the other arm on a cast. It was the one that got injured and he needed it to be casted from time to time. He’s once again making the regular size couch look small because of his tall frame.

“You live under a rock or something?” his tone taunting.

You didn’t let it get to you then just flash him a small smile. “I was busy studying.”

He pursed his lips downwards while nodding his head slowly. His brow arches attractively before he smirks again.

“Oh, right. Miss Valedictorian have no time to fool around.” he said it with so much sarcasm and sighs right after. His gaze turned slightly dark while thinking about something. To what it is, you have no idea. He was hard to read after-all.

“Let me just ask you something, Dr.” he starts. Just by the way he’s looking at you, you can already tell he’s up to no good.

You gulped, trying to get a hold of your thoughts and keep a firm look on your face. The last thing you would want is too look weak in front of him. He’ll eat you alive if you let him overpower you.

“Go ahead, Mr. Park.” you tried to sound so casual. A doctor interviewing her patient. Not crossing any line, keeping a safe distant from him.

“Are you still a virgin?” his bold question completely caught you off-guard. Your breath hitches as blood rushes over your face, blushing hard.

“E-Excuse me?” the flustered look on your face made his grin wider.

Just seeing your innocent eyes opens wider after that question was priceless. He couldn’t get enough of you. Dark thoughts occupies his mind, how you will be so perfect for him. How fun would it be corrupting the fuck out of you.

“I forbid you from asking personal questions. This has nothing to do with your sessions.” and you cleared your throat then teared your eyes off of him.

He tilts his head, “Don’t you think you’re being unfair? You ask me personal questions too.”

Your lips hangs open, ready to answer him. Sunghoon’s brows arched as he waits for what you’re about to say.

“T-That’s different. You are my patient and you—”

“How am I suppose to trust you when I know nothing about you?” his words stunned you. Truly he makes a point. In order for your patient to be confident enough to share their thoughts to you, you need to earn their trust.

How are you suppose to gain his trust when he knows nothing about you? But why does it have to be your sex life? You can share anything else, not that one.

“Then ask something else.”

He shook his head with a teasing grin. “That’s what I want to know the most.”

You stared at him straight to his eyes, silently asking him if he’s being serious about it. He didn’t budge and just stared back, piercing through your soul. You let out a strained sigh as an act of surrender before resting your back at your chair.

“Y-Yes.” you gulped, trying to get rid of the lump between your throat. The amount of embarrasment you are having right now is incomparable to anything else. You’ve never been humiliated like this.

A spark lights upon his pretty eyes, his thick pretty brows raising in amusement. He chuckles and you quickly glanced away, couldn’t take it.

“I did expect you to say yes, but to actually know it is still surprising.” he stated.

You nibbled over your lower lip then dropped your eyes at the clipboard you are holding. The paper clipped to it was almost blank, nothing else was written as he’s not cooperating as usual. But in comparison from your previous meetings, he’s more talkative as of the moment.

“So tell me, why?” he asks in full curiosity. You glanced at him with a furrowed brows, confused as to what’s he’s talking about.

“Does no one wants you? Nobody tried to— ah no, that’s impossible right? I bet a lot had tried before but they just miserably failed.” the corner of his mouth lifts as he racked his eyes from your eyes down to your feet, licking and nibbling over his lips through the process. It was almost like he’s undressing you inside his mind.

The sight itself was enough to make you feel horny, the space between your thighs slowly getting wet. It was sinful and becoming unbearable for you. The temperature of the room surprisingly became hotter because of the man in front of you.

If you’re slowly losing your mind, Sunghoon had gone crazy in his own thoughts. After hearing it from you, he lost it. The thought of how pure and innocent you are just makes him dizzy and very horny. He can think of the most awful and darkest thoughts he wants to do to corrupt you. Make you his cum dump and a slave to of his cock. It makes him riled up.

Sunghoon curses inside his mind feeling his cock getting painfully hard.

Your eyes unconsciously darted over the wall clock and a part of you cheers that finally it was times up for his session.

“O-Our session is over, Mr. Park.” you forced yourself up, thighs rubbing each other and the heat coming out from your core makes it so bothering.

You didn’t wait for Sunghoon to speak and just stood up then walk towards your table, starting to rummage over nothing. Continuously touching and arranging things that doesn’t necessarily messy.

The couch made a sound when he stood up and you can feel your heart thumping so hard as you wait for him to talk.

Instead of hearing his voice, you heard him carefully walking near you. It halts your movement and your chest rises up and down. Your breath hitched as you feel his presence looming behind him, his tall figure approaching closer.

He stopped a step behind you. The sexual tension between the two of you is sky rocket, making you feel slightly suffocated. Sunghoon raises his free arm to reach over your waist.

The moment his big hand touched you, it was over for you. The wall you tried to barricade yourself in, crumbling down.

Sunghoon inched closer pressing his hot body at your back. Your scent made its way over his nose and he nibbled his lips at how good you smell.

“We shouldn’t really—” your words hangs as his action caught you off guard.

He dipped his head down, face dangerously burying your neck. His sinful hot lips places feathery kisses over it. Your hand clenched into fists, trying hard not to make any sound or let out a moan that can surely please him.

“Mr. Park,” you tried hard to face him, hand rests over his uninjured shoulder to push him away.

The difference between your physique clearly made it obvious how your strength would not even match his and so to see him not budging from his position isn’t really surprising.

He smirks, finding you adorable while blushing so hard. His effect on you visible and he’s loving it so much. He pressed himself again and this time it’s even more dangerous as you are face to face with each other.

You can now see his ethereal visuals, his thick dark brows, eyes surrounded by thick long lashes, nose pointy with a noticeable beauty mark on it and his pretty lips. He smirks, running his tongue once over them before nibbling over his lower lip showing you his fangs.

“Just like what you always tell me...” he murmured, lips inches away from yours.

Your heart almost burst out from your chest because of the intensity he's making you feel. The urge of giving in and kissing him plays inside your head dangerously clouding your senses.

“Cooperate.” his grip over your waist tightens as he leans even closer.

The last string of resistance prevents you from kissing him on his lips, leaning away when he inched closer. His eyes lifts from your lips, to your eyes. You can see how his eyes are clouded with nothing but lust.

“Think about it, Doctor. If we both cooperate in here, we’ll get what we wants the most. It’s a win win situation.” and he tugs you closer to him making you feel his erection from his pants. So hard and its making you dizzy how he rubs it

His head leans at the side, his lips grazing slightly to bite your earlobe teasingly. It makes you feel ticklish and lightheaded.

“You, getting inside of my mind and me getting inside of you.” he seductively whispered over your ears, hot breath fanning your neck that made the hairs stands up.

Your knees weakened and he hold your waist tighter to prevent you from collapsing down the cold floor.

The intercom to your office rings and it made you jolt. Sunghoon chuckles at how adorable you are for getting surprise by small sounds.

“Doctor, I would like to remind you that your session with Mr. Park is now over. The next client just arrived.” your assistant just announced.

A heavy and disappointed sigh slips off from Sunghoon’s mouth before he moves away from you. His hands ripped away from you and the sudden lose contact made you slightly feel empty, hand gripping the table hardly to keep balance.

He noticed it and he grinned widely. He sighs and felt slightly annoyed that the fun has to be interrupted.

“I should go. You seem to have a busy day.” he turns his heels and started heading towards the door, like as if he didn’t just pulled that stunt.

Just in time, your secretary opened the door and Sunghoon glanced at you for the last time, flashing you a very meaningful smile.

“I really enjoyed this session, Doctor. I’ll see you on friday.” and he sent a wink before finally leaving you a whole mess, the space between your thighs dripping wet wanting nothing but to feel more of him.

After what Park Sunghoon just pulled at your office, you gave it a lot of thought. He was too tempting, but something in you feels warry of the idea. He’s seriously like a wolf hunting on an innocent sheep. It was too much for you so you skipped two of your sessions. Friday and monday, sending Hana instead and making excuses that you’re outside the country for some seminar.

“Finally showing up, huh?” his dangerous tone errupts from the entrance of your office, making you jolt.

Your back was facing the direction of the door and so you have no idea how he looks right now. Gulping, you slowly turns to face him and you saw him shutting the door close. The sound of the lock clicking made your heart thump faster.

“I’m sorry, I was in a seminar. I did sent Dr. Kang in replacement for me.”

The look on his eyes tells you that there’s no slight chance that he’s buying it. And he’s pissed at you for actually thinking you can get away from him.

“P-Please have a sit.” you stutter because you have no idea of how to bring up what he just said the last time you two saw each other.

“Have you decided about what I told you?” a part of you felt relieved that he’s the one who brought it up, the other part is nervous because you have no idea what to tell him.

Your mind kept telling you no, but your core had another idea. Clearly, you want him. You want him so bad.

“A-Are you sure you will cooperate with the sessions if I give you what you want?” your tone sounded anxious and so soft.

Sunghoon’s eyes grew darker while he stares at you, legs spread so wide while he dominates your couch. He heaved a sigh, calming himself not to get so excited and scare you off with his dark plans of corrupting the shit out of you.

“Yes. I am a man of my words after-all.” he states and licked his lips.

You stared right at his eyes with your innocent looking eyes. A big grin spreads across his face the moment you nod your head, falling for his evil trap.

It felt really awkward after that and you’re just standing right there like as if waiting for what he’s going to say next.

“What s-should I do?” you asked timidly, fingers fidgetting carefully and nervously.

Sunghoon took time admiring how beautiful you look in front of him. Standing like a helpless prey, submitting to her predator. Her hungry and very horny predator.

He smiles and bit his lower lip, showing off his fangs like teeth towards you. It sends shivers on your spine, down to your core making it even more wet.

Sunghoon scoots over to the side of the couch, leaving enough space.

“Come sit here.” he ordered with his husky voice.

Your knees felt weak and your feet are stoned at your position, heart thumping so loudly inside your chest that it hurts a little.

“Don’t be scared. I don’t bite,” he scoffs. “at least not yet.” and he grinned at you.

With all your strength, you struts towards him and sat at the space beside him. To be this close to him is dangerous for you. You feel so hot, like going insane hot.

Sunghoon leans in towards your face and you instinctively moves back a little. His dark eyes moved from looking at your lips up to your eyes, silently warning you not to do that again. His hand raised and cupped your face to keep you in place. His hand so big and having it harshly holding you with so much dominance turned you on.

When his lips touches yours, you are lost. It started slow and gentle, then he started to kiss you hungrily like he’s been starved from your kisses. You shut your eyes and hand grip over his polo shirt for support as you can feel yourself losing into his touch.

Your head fuzzy at the taste of Sunghoon. A little bit of mint and sweetness. His kisses hot and messy as his tongue pushes your mouth open so he can taste your insides shamelessly.

He pulled away when you two are already out of breaths, biting your lower lip as he did so. His eyes half-lidded and clouded with nothing but lust. He looked so damn sexy.

“You taste so sweet.” he whispered near your lips, eyes darted straight at yours.

His gaze heated and so is his touch. You can feel his large hands roaming dangerously below you. His eyes serves as a distraction so it was too late before you even realize that he already pushed your skirt up, hands reaching over your clothed core. His hand expertly parting your legs for better access.

“Mr. Park—” your words cut when he placed a wet kiss on your lips.

“Call me Sunghoon.” you gulped and felt so flushed because of his fingers now playing with your core. The only thing that keeping him from touching it bare was your underwear. It was torture for you. A bit embarrased too as this is the first time someone had touched you this much.

“Already so fucking wet for me. That’s all for me, right?” he glanced back at your eyes, waiting for an answer.

Because of the overwhelming pleasure, all you did was nod your head, trapping your lower lip between your teeth.

“Words. I need words, baby.” he whispered, the sudden endearment adding to the sensation he’s making you feel at the moment.

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?” he asked, a bit impatient.

You whimpered when you felt him rubbing roughly at your wet core, “Yes I’m so w-wet for you.”

That sends a different kind of satisfaction towards Sunghoon. To hear you say those words just made his cock even harder. He never felt aroused just by hearing them dirty talk. This is the first time. You’re the only one who did it to him.

“I want to taste you. I bet you taste so fucking sweet.” he mumbled and you opened your eyes at what he just said, taken aback at what he’s planning to do.

“But—” he placed a kiss at your lips then kneeled beside the couch, just so he can be face to face to your heated core.

You closed your legs in attempt to hide yourself from him, but he firmly gripped your thighs pushing them back open. He shoot you blank stares.

“Hold your legs for me. Keep them wide open.” he ordered and your eyes unconsciously darted at his broad shoulders, taking notice at the cast over it.

“W-What about your shoulder?” you worriedly ask.

Sunghoon almost lose his mind at how soft and gentle your voice are. More importantly that you still have the time to think of his shoulder when you’re almost half naked in front of him.

“I’m fine.” he quickly dismissed it and placed his big hands at your thighs, supporting it so it won’t close.

Your legs are slowly moving closer, maybe out of embarrasment now that he can see your underwear fully and the wet spot in the middle of it.

One of his hand reaches over your underwear, but you stopped him.

“S-Sunghoon, I’m shy.” you admit, blood rushing towards your cheeks.

The corner of his lips lifts up at the sight of your innocent eyes watching him beneath you. The look of embarrasment and probably being neglected from orgasm painted frustration over your pretty face. He cannot explain it exactly, but it turns him on.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” despite the look of lust over his eyes, his tone is surprisingly gentle.

“Can I take this off now?” he asks and while staring at his eyes, you had no choice but to nod your head.

He didn’t waste any second and removed your underwear, revealing your wet pussy. The sight itself was enough to leave him salivating. Sunghoon gulps and then dips his head giving one long lick to your core, juices wrapping his own tongue.

“God,” you mumble at the feeling of his hot tongue grazing your folds.

“Taste so fucking good.” he grunted and started lapping your pussy like a hungry animal. He kissed, he ate and even fuck your hole using his tongue, hardening it so you can feel him enough.

“Ngh,” you sound so dumb trying to contain your moan, afraid that your secretary from outside can hear you.

Sunghoon smirks and lifts his gaze to look at you enjoying the time of pussy being eaten. He never seen you like this before, he never thought you can even moan this erotic.

“Let me stretch you a bit, baby.” and he pulls away then spit at your hole.

“Open your eyes.” he says that made you slowly oblige. The first thing you saw was his sexy smirk, eyes so dark.

He raised his hand and while staring at your eyes, he slowly slid one of his long fingers inside you.

“Hmm, w-wait.” one of your hand lets go from your thighs so you can cover your mouth.

He chuckled, “Haha! Too much? It’s just one finger. How are you gonna take me if you’re already struggling with this?” he taunts and starts pumping it in and out, stretching you.

“You look so pretty like this, y/n. So damn pretty.” he mumbled and kissed your inner thighs while still fucking his finger knuckle deep in you.

“I think I can already add another one.” he says and you hitched your breath as you watch closely, anticipating the stretch and slight sting from it.

Sunghoon loves how obedient you are and how you just lets him do what he wants towards you. This is the first time you’ll ever experienced fingered other than your own fingers so he knew he needed to make it memorable. He added another finger and started pumping.

“Ugh, oh my gosh.” you moaned, gripping over wherever you can reach.

He kept repeating it until you can feel a knot forming your stomach, a hand clasp over his arm. “S-Sunghoon, I’m going to cum.”

His eyes sparkled, “Oh yeah? Give it to me.” he says like a challenge and continued pumping, dipping his head close to your core. He opens his mouth and placed his tongue near your hole, waiting for your sweet juice. The sight itself made you cum easily, moaning so hard and shaking a little.

“Good girl, cum so sweet.” he praised and suck your clit for any remnants of your orgasm.

You are catching your breath and he’s still pumping his fingers inside you, riding your high.

“How does that feel?”

“G-Good.”

“Then let’s do it again.”

Despite feeling drained out of energy, you looked at him with a bit of hesitation. “W-What?”

“Let me add another finger, pretty. Hold on.” and pushes your body to lay back down your previous position.

You whimpered at the amount of stretch his three fingers are giving you. This is the biggest you ever had.

“Pussy so tight. I bet we will have a hard time making my fat cock fit inside you.” his words’ making your head all fuzzy.

“Say it.” he said while staring at your eyes.

You looked at him confuse, clueless of what he’s talking about.

“W-What?”

“Say your pussy is so tight for me.”

Your cheeks flushed at how dirty those words are. You rarely cursed and never once did mutter this type of words, having him make you say this is making you feel so riled up.

“Say it, y/n. Or I’ll stop,” he shamelessly pulls his fingers out of your hole and instantly you felt empty, the other orgasm disappearing into thin air.

“S-Sunghoon,” you said a little frustrated.

“Say it.” his eyes so dark while it burn towards you.

“M-My pussy is so tight for y-you.”

Sunghoon slid his fingers right back after hearing you dirty talking. It back fired tho, as he can feel his dick throbbing painfuly inside his pants, head leaking with so much precum.

“Ah fuck, this won’t work.”

His eyes turned darker and he pulls his fingers off, making you look at him in confusion. He licked your juices on his digits before he stood back up. Your eyes grew big when you saw him unzipping his pants.

“W-What...” you are lost of words when you saw his erect cock, slapping his stomach after he took off his briefs. It is big and now you can definitely agree when he wonders how you will be able to fit him inside you.

Your face turned pale, a little scared of how painful would it be.

“S-Sunghoon, I don’t think I can—” he leans down and kissed you over your lips.

“Just the tip, baby. I promise.” he stroke his manhood and slowly near it to your entrance.

“Fuck,” he groaned when he managed to put his pulsating tip inside your hole. The stretch from a while ago did help, but only because its just his head. It stings a little, but the pleasure is unmeasurable.

“Oh God,” you mumble when he starts to pull in and out his tip.

“Keep steady for me.” and he started to keep his pace, pleasure overwhelming the two of you.

His eyes are fixed right at your pussy barely taking his tip inside. It was making him crazy.

“I’m close, Sunghoon!”

His brows narrowed and he bit his lower lip, stroking the length that doesn’t go inside you to catch your orgasm.

“Me too, fuck. Cum with me.” and after a few more thrust, you coat his head with your cum and afterwards he pulls out, spilling his outside your pussy.

You’re both a panting mess after and now that the lust is slowly withdrawing, your starting to feel shy again. He noticed it and smirks before leaning in for a kiss on your lips.

“You did so well for me.” he praised that made your cheeks flushed even more.

You pursed your lips into a pout and glanced away, eyes dropping at your exposed core.

“You got it on my skirt.” you rant cutely that made him chuckle.

“I’ll just buy you a new one.”

Friday came faster than you expected, or maybe you’re just really looking forward on seeing Park Sunghoon once again. You parked right at his mansion and knocked on his door.

Surprisingly, Sunghoon opened the door for you. Brows hardly furrowed.

“Hi,” you greeted with a smile and blushing cheeks.

He opens his door even wider for you, “You’re late.” he sounds like he’s sulking so you chuckle a little walking pass by him. Sunghoon managed to inhale your sweet scent and he’s already feeling aroused by it.

“I stopped by at a famous bakery since you mentioned yesterday that you love bread.” and you raised the plastic containing the bread you are talking about.

When you glance at him, he was already sat down at his couch. A ghost of smile spread across his face before he gestures you to come to him. You rest your things at the table and slowly walk near him.

He reached over your hand then guided you carefully to sit over his lap, arms wrapping around your waist.

“You look beautiful today.” he compliments that tugged your heart.

“Is that why you’re hard as rock right now?” you teased and rolled your eyes at him.

He smirks, “I can’t help it.” he mumbles then showers your shoulders and neck with feathery kisses.

You shut your eyes and your hold over his arm tightens. He kissed your neck and sucked at the skin so hard you’re sure it will bruise.

“Ride me.” he commands that made you open your eyes.

The look of lust over his eyes tells you that he isn’t kidding at all. After letting out a nervous sigh, you straddle over him your clothed core perfectly aligned at his erection. The sensation of having it rub as you position yourself on top of him is making you crazy.

Sunghoon’s big hands rests at your hips, eyeing you dangerously. Watching how your face contorts at pleasure as your privates rubs at one another. He can only curse inside his mind how the sight of you humping your wet core to him is so arousing.

“Sunghoon,” you moaned that snap him out of trance.

“Yeah?” and he leaned closer kissing your chin.

“Can I suck you?”

His eyes darken at your question. He was indeed planning to make you suck his cock, but he never thought you would be the one to ask yourself. Now he didn’t regret hearing it, you are turning him on even more.

“Well well, the innocent Doctor (surname) now hungry for my cock?” he teased that made you shy instantly, stopping how you rub yourself towards him.

He chuckles, “Say it first and then I'll let you suck my dick.”

You pursed your lips into a pout then was about to turn away, “Say it, come on.” and then he hold your wrists to keep you from leaving.

You glanced at his eyes and stared hardly. Letting him see how much he affect you. How wet he is making you at the moment.

“Can I suck your cock, please?” you ask so softly that it almost broke Sunghoon.

He smirks and leans to kiss you at your lips once, “Since you ask nicely, down on your knees.” he command and you got so excited after you heard that.

You stood up from sitting on his lap and watch how he remove the knot of his sweatpants. He was left with his boxers and he slides it down as well, revealing his already hard fat cock.

You gulped, astonished at the view in front of you. Eyes fixated at the dessert you’re about to taste. You slowly went down on your knees while still staring at his pulsating cock, the tip of it so red.

“H-How do I do it?” your hand hang awkwardly on the sides and it almost made Sunghoon laugh at how adorable you are.

He grabs your hand and placed it at his knees, making you tear your gaze from his dick and look at his lustful eyes. He smiles, fangs showing.

“Calm down, baby. Don’t get too excited. I feel like you will bite off my dick.” he joked that made you pout. He chuckled and leaned forward for a peck on your lips before resting his back at the couch once again.

“Okay, open your mouth and then rolled your tongue out. Flat them good for me.” he instructs that you quickly followed.

The shyness wearing off as the heat of horniness taking over. You don’t care anymore, all you want is to taste his cock inside your mouth.

“That’s it. Then hold my length, not too tight. It’s your friend, not your enemy.” he chuckles playfully and you just keep follow him.

“Now lick the tip. Lick or suck, just no teeth.” he reminds and you dived in, not wasting any second.

He tasted a bit salty, but good. You cannot explain what exactly it is but the type of taste you will look for from time to time. You hold his dick and looked at its tip, becore sucking it good making Sunghoon groan in pleasure.

“Fuck baby, you’re so thirsty for my cock.” and his hand rests on top of your head when you started bobbing it out of instinct.

“Just like that— damn, it feels so good.” he moaned, groaning while biting his lips deliciously.

“Look at me.” he demands that you oblige, making him go insane.

“Goddamn those eyes. I will cum if you keep looking at me like that.” he said in a husky voice that sent shivers in your spine.

You hummed sending vibrations on his dick that gave him ultimate pleasure.

“Keep going, pretty.” and with his guidance you continued bopping and sucking his delicious cock like a lollipop. It felt so satisfying hearing his moans and having him tightly gripping your hair out of pleasure.

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” he grunts so you kept your pace and he started fucking into your mouth, making you slightly gag on his fat dick.

He didn’t stop until he shoots his hot cum at the depth of your throat, making sure you swallow every drop of it. You did as he told, rolling your eyes as you continue sucking him dry. Sunghoon grunts at the sight of you.

“So good for me.” he mumbles and pulls you up to give you a kiss at your lips.

The day ended with you actually doing your session. This time, you can really tell he’s trying to be more cooperative. Answering questions from you about his childhood and all, trying to familiarize you more about him.

You left that day with a sweet kiss on his lips and small gropping. He’s just really naughty and you cannot get enough of him.

Your routines became making out, foreplays, makeouts then session with Sunghoon. Two weeks passed by so quickly and you two grew closer and intimately. Another weekend came and you spent it with Hana, trying to find good clothes and other girly things.

“How was it with Mr. Park Sunghoon?” she asks raising her brow teasingly.

Your cheeks blushed and eyes dropped at your food instantly. Just by then she realized that something is really happening between you and the f1 racer and so she squealed happily and didn’t stop bugging you to tell her everything.

“I always knew he have the hots for you.” and she winks, delighted that her friend is finally having the sex she deserves.

“What? No. Maybe he’s just bored and—”

“Oh come on! Sunghoon can have any girls he wants and yet he picked you. He isn’t the type to go fuck around girls as well, y/n. He may look like a player, but that dude is loyal.” she even whistles.

“How’d you know?”

She shrugs her shoulder, “He had only one ex-girlfriend and not once did I heard him getting involve with someone else.”

Your heart sank at what you heard. Lately, Sunghoon has been making you feel special. Despite him being mean sometimes, his gestures still tugs your heart. And to think that you learnt about this ex lover of his being the undefeated champion for his heart is hurting your heart.

“Don’t worry! They’re already over.” she assured you after noticing the look of horror on your face.

That didn’t wipe away your worry, since you could tell she has something to do why Sunghoon refuses to talk about his hard refusal of driving for his team again.

“Why did they broke up?” you couldn’t help yourself but to ask.

She pursed her lips trying to recall the article she saw the moment the news broke to the media. It was not that big of a scandal, but still they’re both a famous and public personality. There are a lot of people invested in their love journey.

“I’m not sure, but as far as I remember it was her who calls it off.” she says that made you even more insecure about it.

Hana seems to be ignorant about the fact that you’re starting to overthink things and just diverts the topic into something else. You tried hard to push back whatever that is that’s bothering you, but it was no use. Your heart feels heavy just by thinking of where you stand at Sunghoon’s life.

He didn’t mentioned anything about taking things seriously. You wanted to get into his mind, talk to him and help him get through this phase of his life. On the other hand, he wants to get in your pants and use you for pleasure. That’s it? You should not get worried and shrug it off, but you can’t. Because no matter how much you deny it, you are slowly catching feelings with him.

And to think that the possibility of him still having hang ups with his ex are breaking your heart.

Monday came faster than expected. The weekends spent mostly by you overthinking things. It was slightly exhausting, but again it was overpowered by the thought of seeing Sunghoon once again. Excitement feeling your chest as you parked right at the hospital to meet some of your morning clients.

Time passes by so slow as you keep glancing at your wall clock, begging for it to go faster. After your third client, your intercom rings.

“Doctor, you are asked to go to the conference room to attend a meeting.” your secretary announced.

Your brows furrowed as you glanced at your calendar beside your table, finding it odd that it wasn’t recorded to your schedule. Meaning its either its an unplanned meeting or you forgot to just include it.

You pressed the button to your intercom, “Alright. Thank you.”

The conference room are packed with some doctors and at the center of it was the director. His eyes lights up at the sight of you and you tried to flash a smile for him. He continued talking about some reminders and changes at the hospital protocols.

Your eyes unconsciously darts at the clock and saw that its almost your session with Sunghoon. Remembering that you forgot to inform him, you tried to check your phone from your pockets and realized you don’t have it with you.

You almost cheered silently when the director said his ending remarks for the meeting. Everyone stood up and claps for him. When you’re about to leave the conference room, he calls for you. It made you hesitant, but since you don’t want to make a scene you just walk near him.

“Your ward will be provided with new equipments.” he started and even looked over the folder holding the lists of things your department requested.

Your shoulder relaxed a bit, thinking that he’s not totally up for something weird. Its just that you represented the department as everyone else have something to do. Slowly, the people inside the room left one by one. Even before you realize it, you are alone with the director already.

“Can you check if there’s anything missing?” he asks seriously and even handed you the folder.

You nod and carefully checks the list. While deeply into it, you yelped when you’re suddenly pushed towards the table. His body pressing hardly behind you. Tears quickly pool your eyes in terror, head hurting as it hits the table.

“M-Mr. Cha w-what are you doing?!” you panicked and even try to push yourself back up.

He grunts and pushed you even harder, holding your position. You cried and shut your eyes, wishing that this is just a dream. A very bad dream. You felt his hot breath near the back of your ears and something hard pressed at your but. It felt disgusting, you felt disgusted with yourself.

“Shut the fuck up and just take this bitch.” he mumbles scarily and started grinding himself at you.

“N-No, please stop—” you cried even harder feeling him from outside your clothes and its so horrifying.

“Shh, don’t cry. I won’t put it inside. It’s too early for that...” he said lowly and even caress your face. You moved away from his touch and he just scoffed.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve taught of doing this to you.” he groans and you can feel him going faster, reaching his climax.

It was horrible, but you just stood still as you are helpess. Tears keep streaming down your eyes, unable to even say anything. You bit your lip, shutting your eyes tightly.

When he finished, he leans in and forcedly pressed a kiss at your lips. The moment he lets go of you, you bolted your way out of there. Thankfully, you didn’t stumble with some colleagues or else they would be wondering why you’re crying and dress all crumpled up.

You’re traumatized after what happened. You’ve been inside your vehicle parked underground the hospital. Tears doesn’t even stream from your eyes anymore, you just sat there feeling so numb and disgusted. You feel disgusted about yourself. Just every place he touched you.

Your head slowly cranes to the side when you heard your phone ringing. Sunghoon’s name flashing through it. Right, you’re late to your session with him. After a while, your screen turns black meaning you’ve missed the call already.

It lits up once again because he’s trying to call again. Your heart tugs and slowly reached for your phone.

“H-Hello?” you stuttered.

A big sigh is what’s greet you. “Finally!” he spats. “I’ve been trying to call you for an hour. I thought something bad happened to you.” he sounded a little irritated.

“I’m sorry, I was c-caught in a meeting.” the memory flashes back to your mind.

“It’s fine. I just got worried.” you missed what Sunghoon said as your mind slowly spaced out.

He noticed you being silent from the other line so he sighed, “Hey, I’m not mad. I was just really worried.” he repeated, thinking you thought he’s angry.

When he still didn’t receive any response, his brows furrowed hardly.

“Baby?” he calls softly, snapping you back to your senses.

“S-Sorry, yeah?” you sniffed.

“Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Your heart sank at what you heard. The amount of emotions mountaining inside you are unexplainable. You want to scream, cry and tell him everything but you are scared. Scared as hell on what will happen after.

“Yeah I’m f-fine.” only case is, you’re not.

“Are you coming here?”

“Yes.”

You really want to see him. Something in you tells you that Sunghoon can help. That seeing him can help you.

“Okay. Drive safely.”

You bid goodbye and drove towards his house with one thing inside your mind. What happened to you a while ago and what the director did you to you just means he will not stop just like that. If there’s anyone you want to give yourself in for the first time, it would be Park Sunghoon. You want to give yourself to him.

When you arrived his place, Sunghoon was the one of who opened the door for you. He can’t even say hi because you quickly wrap your arms over his nape, pulling him closer. You crashed your lips on his and start kissing him passionately.

Despite being surprised, Sunghoon caught on and kissed back. He doesn’t understand why you’re suddenly like this, but he cannot reject and stop you. No. Never. Not when you look so beautiful desperate for him. Desperate for his kisses and touch.

He pushed your body to the door and started kissing you hungrily, hands roaming your body like they have a body of their own.

“What’s gotten into you?” he asks, catching his breath.

Your lustful eyes stared right at his swollen lips. “I just missed you.”

Sunghoon’s eyes soften at what you said and leans back in for another heated kiss. Both of his large hands rests at your hips, gripping them tightly.

“H-Hoon,” you moaned when he starts to kiss and suck the skin on your neck.

He hummed on your skin, sending so much pleasure. Your hands plays over his hair, pulling it softly.

“Fuck me.”

Sunghoon was stoned at his position when he heard you mutter those words. He pulled away slightly, enough to look at your eyes.

“What did you say?”

You looked at him straight in the eyes.

“Please fuck me.”

Sunghoon went wild after hearing it. He licked his lips and placed a kiss on top of your hand. “You sure?”

You nod continuously, wanted so bad to forget what happened earlier at the conference room.

“All right, let me prep you—” you hold his arm.

“N-No,” you gulped. “I want to feel it. I want it to hurt.”

He furrowed his brows and looked at you in confusion. He’s not gonna lie, he’s all riled up with you saying these things but he cannot help but to think what happened to you. For the past month that he knew you and been doing stuff with you, he’s never seen you like this. He feels like something’s wrong.

“Is everything okay?” he asked all concerned.

You want to dodge that question as much as possible so you glanced away. His firm hold over you softens as he try to catch your eyes.

“Hey, you good? If you want to do this, I want you to be sure. I need to prep you so it will hurt less—”

“I said I don’t mind!” you burst and shoot him glares. Your emotions are getting the best out of you.

“You know what, nevermind! If you don’t want to do it then I’ll find someone else!” you yelled. Of course that was a lie, but you try to save yourself from too much embarrassment.

You’re about to walk away from him, but he grabbed you by the wrist. When you meet his eyes, shivers run through your spine because Sunghoon’s eyes are so dark.

“Why the fuck would you say that?” he looked so mad and your lips shake unable to even say anything.

“You want it to hurt? I’ll make it hurt.” and he threw you over his shoulders making you slightly yelp.

“H-Hoon,” he walked towards somewhere.

Realizing he entered a room, Sunghoon placed you on the middle of the big bed. You looked at him, nervous. He smoothly took off his shirt and you fold your legs. His toned body made you at awe.

He stretches and grabbed your leg pulling you closer to him. His hand find your skirt and he started taking it off. He dipped his head to smash his lips onto yours. Your eyes shut, getting drown by his sweet, sloppy kisses.

“You don’t say those words at me, y/n. Finding someone else to fuck you?” he said after he pull away and manages to take off your skirt. His eyes turned dark as he let out a scoff with no humor.

“Now, I’m going to fuck you so hard and you’re going to take it all like a good bitch.”

His words are enough to make you wet down there, but you know it wasn’t enough to make it less painful. With the length and thickness of his cock, it will surely hurt like hell.

“W-Wait—” you sound scared.

Sunghoon didn’t mind and just pushed your body down the bed, his big hand wrapping around your neck. His other hand started stripping off your underwear.

“Shut the fuck up.”

He moved away and started removing his sweatpants. His dick was hard already, slapping at his stomach after he took off his boxer shorts. The view itself was salivating for you. It made your fear disappear for a split second. Tho it all went back when he approached you and spread your legs wide for him.

His eyes are darkly focused down at your slightly wet core.

“H-Hoon,” he didn't say anything and spit on his palm before stroking his hard cock.

You’re about to say something but his dark eyes looked at you. The corner of his lips lifts a little as he position his tip at your entrance. Your heart thump in fear and excitement. Multiple times you two did foreplays and you’ve been imagining his cock entering you. Now, it’s really gonna happen.

“Do you trust me?” he asks in a low tone.

You nod your head.

“I will make it hurt so you wouldn’t forget who took you first.” he mumble so ruthless and then pressed his body closer.

Your lips pursed as his cock slowly enters you. It was hard, Sunghoon cannot even push inside as it was so tight for him. He clenched his jaw, couldn’t get enough of the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing his tip.

“Fucking tight,” he growled and thrust harder.

You yelped at the feeling of being painfully stretched by his dick. The pain was unexplainable, something you never felt before. Your hold over his arm tighten, eyes becoming teary. Sunghoon searches for your lips as he continues taking your virginity, cursing inside his mind how good this pussy is. How tight and perfect for him to ruin.

“S-So big,” you cry out.

“Just a little bit more, baby.” he whispered to your ears.

He’s not yet fully in but you already feel so full. It was unbelievable. Your eyes tightly shut, nails digging over his broad back.

“There we go,” he sighs when you finally managed to take all of him.

He pulled away slightly just to get a good look of his cock buried deep inside of you. Your pussy so red and full. It looked so tight with his dick filling you completely. He fits you perfectly that its no doubt that this pussy belongs to me.

“You’re mine now, y/n. Hear me?” he growled and leaned his body down as he start to move his hips, thrusting in and out.

“I’m claiming this pussy mine.” and he bit your shoulder, pistoning his hips harder and faster.

He didn’t even ask if you adjusted already. He was so lost by the pleasure you are giving him. He continued fucking you fast and hard that you’re starting to see stars. It was amazing. Painful, but amazing.

“Ngh,” you moaned when its started to feel a little better. He smirks and tries to catch a glance at your face.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. You’re such a good girl.” he mumbled and looked back at your privates hitting each other continuously.

“So pretty. So perfect for me.” he kept mumbling like a prayer.

You got lost on how long he’s been abusing your hole until he finally cum on your stomach. Sunghoon’s not the type who gets tired right away after a round, but this one’s different. The kind of pleasure and emotions he poured in this one is something he has never done before.

He crashed beside you and gently pulled you towards him, making your head rest over his chest. A peck on your forehead and then he rest his chin on your head.

“Thank you.” you mumbled, after finally gaining back some senses.

He scoffed and wrapped his arm around you. “Thank you for hurting you?”

You chuckled and nuzzled over his chest.

“Well, I did asked for it.”

“You did, baby.”

The two of you fell silent before your eyes caught a glimpse of some of his trophies.

“Did you want to be a racer ever since you were a kid?”

“Oh, my psychiatrist is back? Damn. I’m kind of enjoying my cuddles at the moment.” he said sarcastically.

“I just want to know.” you giggled.

He heaved a sigh, clearly thinking through it.

“I grew up loving cars. My uncle used to take me with him whenever he watch f1 racers. I thought it was cool and wanted to be like them.” he started and you just listened to him.

“And you did.” you uttered so proudly.

“My Mom was against it at first. Saying that its dangerous. But I just couldn’t stop myself from pursuing it. I just feel so alive doing it. The sound of the roaring engines, the thrill of the speed and the smell of the tires scratching over the race track. Its just... different.” he mumbles.

He didn’t say anything, but you felt his tension slightly disappearing. Your hand that was hugging him starts to caress his back, lowkey letting him know that you’re there beside him.

“I used to love racing.”

“You still love it.” you declared like you’re so sure of it.

He didn’t respond right away. Like something’s occupying his mind right now. The thought of his ex girlfriend made it to you and slowly, you pulled away from his hug.

You looked straight to his eyes and gulped.

“Does your ex girlfriend has something to do why you don’t want to race anymore?”

You can clearly saw how his eyes turned cold and the emotions in his face drained. He looked like how he was when you first met him.

Your heart cracks when he pulled away from you and leave the bed before starting to grab his clothes.

“I’ll get you a fresh towel so you can take a bath.” he suggested with cold voice.

“Sunghoon, I’m s—”

“Let’s skip today’s session. You can leave after you take a bath.” and he walked away to get the things you will be needing. Leaving you dumbfounded and heart’s aching.

You have no idea what just happened, but the f1 racer sure does know how to fucking hurt you both physically and emotionally.

tag-list:

@candewlsy @nyfwyeonjun @sunghoonizz @jaehyuniewifeu @imjakes-wifeofc1 @deobitifull @enhypens-hoe @yzzyhee @nyxtwixx @crimnalseung @vixensss @jjklvr9 @gonorrheaisme @lhspeachie @myboyfriendjungkook @capri-cuntz @brooklyninawhitemustang @woniebae @ma-riiii @tinie03 @seokseokjinkim @iheartjayke @hybeboyenthusisast @minniejenseo @shelovsme @sjakewrld @shawnyle (i can’t tag some of you, sorry)

[princessvickie]

PERSONAL STRIKER HEADCANNONS ♡‧₊˚

(general, romantic, physical.)

note : ahh i’ve been wanting to write about him for a while :,3333 my little snake dude !!!-!-!!—!! i freaking love him sm !! might write about him and my oc sooooown;)) this isn’t proof read sorry:(

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS EPS IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY WATCHED THE SHOW.

General

୨୧ I feel like Striker would be demisexual/romantic. He’d probably only be intimate with somebody after he put his whole trust and faith in them. It’s implied by S2 Ep4 that he’s lost the people that he cared about before, so It’s an explanation for his hostility. I also think he’d be Bisexual like js look at that one scene in Harvest Moon like i know he was trying to manipulate Blitz butttt;))..

୨୧ Loves mud fights and fist fights, won’t elaborate on this;).

୨୧ While rewatching Harvest Moon Festival, Striker looks a bit old fashioned and traditional compared to the other Imps. So i believe that he def gets his style from watching old western movies when he has the time.

୨୧ Constantly trying to get money for business phones, but he always breaks all of them in a fit of rage (a little canon).

୨୧ Fucking loves Bombproof with every fiber in his body and treats him like a baby in private, also I feel like he’d own more horses and call them his family.

୨୧ FAWKING LOVES HORSERIDING COMPETITIONS!!!! he almost always wins and then shows off Bombproof but never lets anybody touch him.

୨୧ Bombproof is def his main way of transportation but he’d probably have to drive a car once in a while. (he’s absolutely reckless and his vehicle is literally on life support and barely even working)

୨୧ His gold tooth is a souvenir and shines insanely bright.. he also wants to lose more teeth to replace them with prosthetic gold ones.

୨୧ Decent penmanship, despite his reckless and crazy personality. It’s not the best.. but at-least it’s legible…

Romantic

୨୧ In the scenario that he’d be in a relationship with somebody, he’d probably be a bit harsh/ or even cruel at first. He hasn’t experienced that type of shit in a while so he’s grown to know intimacy as a stranger. Striker has a tough shell.

୨୧ Once he’s warmed up to that person, he’d be super overprotective. He doesn’t want to lose another person, and to experience that grief again. Striker wouldn’t be the perfect partner because he still has some flaws within his personality due to being previously scarred, but he’d def ensure that the person he’s romantically involved in is comfortable and reciprocates the same feelings as well.

୨୧ Overall, Striker’s a bit inexperienced with romantic concepts but not completely unfamiliar with it. He wouldn’t mind showing affection, such as occasional cuddles or words of praise.

୨୧ also extra if he were to be your roommate, he’d be extremely messy.. like look at his lair shit is everywhere 😭.

Physical

୨୧ DEF MORE ROUGH AND MESSY HAIRRR. Work gets in the way of his personal hygiene and sometimes he forgets to cut it, making it grow a bit longer. Also fighting takes a lot of effort so no doubt it’s messy 😭.

୨୧ Longer gloves, maybe even normal non-fingerless ones. Striker kills people for a living and he’s legally wanted so I don’t think he’d leave his fingerprints behind that easily.

୨୧ Doesn’t always fight with his jacket, sometimes fights get messsyyy and he doesn’t have the time to keep washing it.

୨୧ okay sorry if I get bashed on this but I prefer norman reedus as his va.. NO HATE TO EDDD I FREAKING LOVE HIM BUT I LIKE THE HIGHER, RASPIER VOICE..

୨୧ snake-imp. Personally I don’t believe Striker to be half shark but everybody has their own headcannons. I also think he’d possess more animalistic features, such as moving around more snake-like and slithery.. def does this to confuse his targets,, like one moment he’s here and then u blink and he’s literally gone.

୨୧ honestly I feel like he’d have more scars on his body, especially his forearm/general arm area. He’s a literal assassin it’d be a little unbelievable if he didn’t have any remarkable scars.. and I also feel like he’d have one specific scar he’d show off and forget about all the other ones he has. but this is just my humble opinion!!!

[secretly-a-polar-bear]

This probably isn’t a new concept at all, but I feel like the fact that Bruce Wayne doesn’t have a specific business lends him the ability to have a far more better reason for becoming Batman. I like to think Wayne industries has its fingers in a lot of pies. Like they’re involved in a lot of different industries and arguably help a lot of the poor. Hell he even donates to a lot charities that are actually doing something. But despite actually doing something with ALL this money, Gotham still sucks. Sure if he was mayor then he’d be able to do more, but the elections are too corrupt and there’s too many barriers for him to make changes. The other political figures are corrupt enough to stop him from doing anything, and it's hard to bribe non corrupt officials without messing with your own morals. even if this isn't how politics  necessarily works, it is fiction and towns do have their own sets of rules and politics. So with all this in mind, he dawns the mask and gives the city something to fear. If all his outside efforts aren’t doing anything. Then he’ll be more direct. The death of his family was the starting point of trying to help the city, but the repeated dissatisfaction Bruce feels towards the city is why he’s Batman.

[headfullof-ideas]

Presenting two more characters and their redesigns in my HTTYD/The Deep story! One is more involved in the story, but the other makes PLOT, and neither really ever interact or connect to one another plot wise to my immediate knowledge in the overall story.

Introducing Savage and Eret!

Savage is not an Outcast and Alvins right hand man, but a true Berserker warrior, serving Oswald and his family for years. But when Oswald the Antagonistic becomes Oswald the Agreeable, Savage starts to grow restless. The Berserkers aren’t at war with the Berkians and surrounding tribes anymore, Oswald trying to maintain a semblance of peace in the dragon-war ridden Archipelago. Savage is a follower, not a natural born leader, but years of peace treaty after peace treaty, and babysitting Oswalds whelps has made him seek out other like-minded Berserkers, planning an uprising against the passive Chieftain. Oswald seemed to have caught on to what Savage was doing, escaping their attempted assassination, and now Savage is trying to commandeer the Berserker Tribe as a whole through sewing doubt amongst the tribe against Oswalds children, and trying to pit the siblings against one another in hopes they’ll simply get rid of the other for him. Savage isn’t good at thinking things through though, especially what the aftermath of his plans to stage a coup or civil war amongst the tribe to try and take leadership might be.

Eret son of Eret is a budding Dragon Trapper, partaking in his father’s business of trapping dragons and bringing them to Auction Markets run by the Grimborn brothers. Dragon Trapping was introduced to Erets family through his paternal Grandfather, with loans being taken from the wrong people, with no money to pay them back leading his Grandfather to Dragon Trapping. With similar habits being passed on to his son, Eret Sr, Eret has been taken on as crew for his fathers quest to pay off the debts his grandfather failed to pay, and his fathers own drunken mistakes. Eret isn’t sure how to feel about it all, his father pushing the looming mantle of Captain on to Eret as his eventual future, leaving whatever debts his father fails to pay before retirement for Eret to try and absolve, with old bedtime stories from his deceased mother and her side of the family speaking of dragons being more than wild animals. Eret’s been grappling with his internal struggles for a few years now, and a sudden interaction with some Archipelagon teenagers apparently riding dragons only rattles his inner beliefs even more.

I decided to go a bit of a different route with Savage in this story, making him a member of the Berserker tribe instead of the Outcasts. There are a lot of elements of his prior design still in this one, but he’s got a lead part in a lot of the early Berserker central arks and plots, especially in Heathers early story, and why she makes some of the decisions she does in Riders and Defenders of Berk, which has a sort of butterfly effect on the way she is in RTTE. He’s not a MAIN villain like the Grimborn brothers, Alvin, Heather, Drago, and a certain someone from the games, more of a small villain and a reoccurring nuisance. He gets his comeuppance however, as he’s not good at thinking things through, especially in the long run, and eventually gets revealed for all his nefarious schemes, and promptly exiled

Eret is a little different to the swashbuckling Dragon Trapper that’s in HTTYD 2, but he’s also nearly five years younger, a little older than Dagur and around the age that the riders were in RTTE. So, eighteen-nineteen-nearly twenty. He’s not Captain of the ship yet, and dealing with a lot of inner family struggles and trying to come to terms with what his future may hold. Generational and pawned off debt is how I play off (Headcanon wise) how he came to be under Drago’s employment in the films, and I’m playing with the setting of the early stages of how that happened here. With his grandfather and father both taking loans they couldn’t keep or pay back, and turning to Dragon Trapping to try and pay them off. Afterall, dragon parts and living dragons sell for a LOT of money. The Dragon Riders throw a bit of a wrench in things though, and Eret ends up being one of their first allies beyond Dagur and someone else in the Archipelago. He’s also a little shorter and not nearly as beefy as he is five years from then, not having the experience to build up that kind of muscle yet. I did this partly because of his age, and partly because Nico Marlets early concept art for him (whose HTTYD art I love and want tattooed to my brain) had him being a little more scrawny, and so I thought that was a nice callback

More characters to come…eventually, as it takes time to draw these, especially with the designing process I go through

[tragicstarz]

My in depth psycho-analysis on Gus fring and why he is one of the most complex characters in the show even with the very little background he is given. Lol enjoy for all who read :3

Gus fring since the very beginning has been one of the most compelling characters in the show. For some people it’s his cold and calculating demeanor and for others it’s what actually goes on underneath it all. (For the record this is not me woobifying Gus- I’m just going deeper than most into his actual personality and life lolol).

Loyalty

Anyways, the first takeaway I had when I finished breaking bad was that Gus gave out his loyalty like a kid running a lemonade stand even though he claimed to not trust a lot of people. (even though it only took a short talk about family for him to be loyal to Walter and Jesse) But, this loyalty kept coming to bite him in the ass. Because of this loyalty, he deals with betrayal and incompetence harshly. He claims loyalty to the right person/s is crucial to maintain order and efficiency in his operations but it’s the very thing that leads to his downfall. His trust and respect for Jesse led to him not ‘taking care of’ Walt which in the end was the one factor that ruined his goal of defeating hector that he was THIS close to completing.

Public persona

I also feel that his involvement with the public and the community is a genuine aspect to his character. I feel like it’s more than a mask to shield his illegal activities. I’ve analyzed it through various psychological lenses and it reveals some deeper motivations and insecurities. In the drug world, Gus is like an outsider even if he IS their highest earner. He will never be one of them. This is kind of emphasized in brba/bcs with his non-Mexican origin and his orientation (through slurs and jokes) he was and never would be fully accepted or respected by his drug peers. In the Albuquerque community, when he’s not working with drugs, his philanthropic persona, I believe, is Gus trying to compensate for his lack of genuine respect and acceptance in the cartel. He’s basically playing dress up with an identity where he valued and respected, which he doesn’t receive in his criminal life (because even Jesse and Walt kinda hate him). Gus is building and creating a psychological space where he can fulfill his need for social acceptance and respect- closeting himself because he knows that something like that can ruin what he’s got. So even in his make believe world of the public entrepreneur/benefactor, he’s not actually himself. But obviously it helps him take his mind off of the disrespect he faces in the drug trade

Max Arciniega

Obviously, if you’ve studied Gus’s character and payed at least a little bit of attention to brba/bcs you can see that Gus’s relationship with Max was more than just a silly partnership. Max’s murder by Hector was a pivotal moment for Gus, sparking his need for control and vengeance but also a set back in his business and giving him a deeply personal wound. In the hyper-masculine and homophobic environment of the cartel, Gus’s sexuality could easily be seen as vulnerability. Hector does say at one point “I know what you are” and the Salamancas are quick to make jokes on the matter so if we’re going the route that they DO know about his sexuality, it only further proves why he doesn’t fit in or isn’t respected as much because the only reason he is, is because of his role in Chile as “big generalissimo” and the amount of money he brings in for Eladio. As a way to counterbalance this vulnerability and insecurity, his meticulous public persona paints Gus out as someone who is deeply respectable. Something I am sad about when it comes to Gus and his character is the way we see quite a bit of his drug and community life (not as much as the other characters) but basically none of his personal life. I believe Vince did this to maintain his villainous coldness which in the end made Gus one of the best TV villains of all time but obviously quite a bit of people would have given an arm and a burned off face to see more of Gustavo not just Gus. His compartmentalization of his true personality in both of his worlds I believe is a coping mechanism to manage the complexities of his identity, including his sexuality. Because even in the early 2000s it still wasn’t as accepted as it is today and obviously he realized if he shared this aspect, his respect would deteriorate (in his mind at least) I couldn’t speak about the other characters but I just know Walter would have had a field day if Gus was more open. Gus’s fear of scrutiny and judgment play a big role when studying his efforts to protect his true self through his need for control and precision.

Moral code/sexuality

Gus’s actions are driven by a personal moral code that includes loyalty and retribution. The murder of Max, his lover, becomes the catalyst for his meticulous, long term plan to dismantle the cartel from within. This mission of his is both a professional vendetta and a deeply personal quest for justice and respect for Max’s memory. But even me just looking at Gus, in my humble opinion, I don’t believe Gus to be one who cares about the money- I think he only cared about being greater than that cartel and the Salamancas to prove them wrong or ya know at least roll in their graves. Gus’s sexuality and the trauma associated with Max’s death I believe contributes deeply to his complex interplay of empathy and ruthlessness. The only times we ever see Gus become ruthless is when his operation/plan to avenge max is in danger. With a lot of characters, he contributes a lot of compassion and empathy. (Ex. Mike, Gale).

Public persona (Pt 2)

Gus’s efforts to gain public respect can be interpreted as attempts to seek validation and acceptance that may have been denied in other aspects of his life (private and cartel). His respectable identity in the community contrasts with the potential stigma of being open with his sexuality in the same environment. I also believe that his construction of this positive legacy through his community work is a way Gus has found to honor Max’s memory. His philanthropic activities and support for the community, I can see as an extension of his affection for Max, reflecting his desire to create something good.

WALTER WHITE

What I said before “if Gus was more open about his sexuality, Walt would have had a field day” I stand by this because to me Walter is the epitome of toxic masculinity a real sigma male if you must. I just know for a fact that if max were still around Walter wouldn’t have been able to even breath the same air as Gus. I feel like if Walter ever did find out about Gus’s sexuality he would have exploited it. Walters need for control and his need to assert dominance would have probably driven him to undermine Gus. Obviously this might have been helpful to Gus in some ways because if Walter perceived him as “weak” and let his guard down even a little Gus would’ve eradicated that bald bastard. Anyways, I was ranting sorry LMFAOOO now onto the family aspect between the two. We have to first look at Gus’s core motivations which I got into earlier with Max and all that. When Walter begins to talk about his motivations being rooted in providing for his family, he presents himself to Gus as someone who is driven by authentic and relatable goals. For Gus, this authenticity and vulnerability stands in stark contrast from the rest of the deceptive and self-serving cunts in the drug trade. Family, loyalty, and providing for a loved one are all values that resonate deeply with Gus and Walters emphasis on these values creates a common ground between them. Gus sees in Walter a reflection of himself which made him more inclined to trust and respect Walter.

Why Walter was so pivotal for Gus

Gus sees potential in Walter. By Walters talk about family, this leads Gus to believe that he can invest in Walter. He thinks he is inventing in someone who is dedicated and motivated by the desire to secure his families future. Because by doing this, Gus would also be investing in the continuity of his own operations. A partner, who is driven by family values in Gus’s eyes is likely to strive for stability and longevity, which aligns with Gus’s vision for a lasting legacy. Sadly, Walters talk about family also makes Gus believe that his actions are not driven by ego or recklessness, but by a deeper, more relatable motivation. But in reality, Walter is exactly what Gus was hoping he wasn’t. However this moment in the booth creates an emotional connection between him and Walter because Gus mirrors it as the loyalty he once had with Max. Ugh it makes me so upset.

I can’t think of anything else to put here at the moment because I still have so many thoughts to gather but I’ll definitely be adding to this in the future

Thank you for reading :)

[talenlee]

Decemberween 2024 — Cohost (RIP)

In August 2023, I wrote about trying to make for a cozier internet. Now part of that is unavoidably built around the fact that I turned 40 that year and you know what it’s really really hard to avoid noticing how often I make the same typos from hand to hand, like it’s just possible I’m now at an age where one of my two hands is faster than the other and that’s how I’m going to notice my age rather than the normal model of like, my first gray pubic hair. But the point is, back then I talked about the idea of taking things slower and making more careful searches, treating the internet as a place to be connected to people, and one of the ways I mentioned – offhandedly – doing that, was Cohost.

Cohost was a website. It was like a website.

I wrote something about the end of Cohost back in the diary of the month when it passed – my September 2024 wrapup has some of the thoughts there, about what Cohost was in the broad, top-down sense of the form.

This article was always planned to happen, here in Decemberween, when I started the year — I sketched out the idea that I would use the Decemberween posts as a chance to show you a ‘best of Cohost’ set of posts, things that my friends or peers made and I wanted you to see or know about. It was, in my mind, a way to encourage you to use a social media platform I used, not just ‘because I was there,’ but because I could show to you its merits, and how it worked.

Except, y’know, it didn’t work.

Definitionally, Cohost did not work because it could not make enough money with its model of remuneration that could meet its costs. I don’t know much about those costs, though every person I’ve seen discussing those costs tends to be someone who I wouldn’t trust to manage their own bathroom supplies let alone managing a multi-national business that’s meant to pay people’s rents, so I don’t think it’s a good conversation for me to get involved in. Still, if you define the function of a website as ‘exist enough to keep existing,’ for whatever parameters you consider that to mean, then Cohost did not. In a few days, it will be deleted off the internet, and that is all for what Cohost is.

And then it will be what Cohost was.

Not only was Cohost not financially viable, though, it was also a place that was, undeniably, very white. It was too big for the people who made it to moderate it at the rate it grew, and it was biased towards people who were friends with the founders, and the kind of people who were friends with those people. All very real, very legitimate problems that were part of the character of cohost and I don’t want to pretend that actually, it being a place black people didn’t feel safe was somehow a quirky speech affect. I can think of four or five ‘big name’ posters (by their avatars, I actually don’t know their names) who would create and promote posts about this problem, which I remember seeing leading to some goodnatured comments from people going ‘hm hm hm,’ and then too many people piping up to say ‘can I argue with this post so effectively structural racism stops existing?’ and those seemed exhausting to produce.

It isn’t like knowing about these problems changes the impact the place had on me. I’m a byproduct of a lot of racist things. I like to make sure I hold onto, and keep present, the awareness of those racisms, especially those ones that aren’t ‘this person keeps saying a slur’ but rather, ‘there’s this structural problem and whatever neutral stance you took failed to fix it.’

Cohost was a place that taught me the phrase, ‘you don’t want an audience, you want a community.’ I talk to students about audience a lot, in a deliberately anodised way. When I say ‘your audience’ I mean ‘who is this for? who do you want to see it?’ and my students, brains rotted by a million platforms that have been teaching them to be pre-emptively burnt out Fiverr ‘social media experts,’ ‘audience’ means ‘the number under my name on my platform of choice, that can be turned into some kind of graph.’ This is one of those words that I’m genuinely coming to think need a new schisming, I need to use a term that doesn’t make these people assume I mean the thing they’re already predisposed to think of because of course, the way I’m using it, I mean something that can be intimate and dynamic and immediate, and if that’s not what people hear, then I can’t restructure their heads, I need to find some other way to get the idea into them.

Because what I mean, so often, is your community.

Not ‘who are the people you broadcast to’ but who are the people you share with?

I don’t know who reads this blog. I don’t know who watches my videos. I don’t know who listens to the podcasts. I know that I have a degree of microsuccess here, where things I make have ten to thirty people express some interest and engage with some effort. But I have spoken to some of those and you know what? the reason the cohost race discussion sticks out in my mind is because I know one of the people in my audience would expect me to not ignore it. I don’t want to let that person down.

Because I am in community with the audience, even if I don’t know you. I don’t know you, by name, reading this, right now. I don’t have that analytical tool and I’ve done things to turn those tools off, to take them away. The point of this system is not to try and steal information about what you think from the material you touch, but rather, to make you feel comfortable talking to me about what you think.

It’s not everything I learned from Cohost. But it is something Cohost taught me. Also that I gotta be the one to reach out on discord to check in on people, y’know?

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[d34dlysinner]

An old trophy and a lost treasure

I wanted to write some angst. Made a poll and Bimet had the highest score on the poll. So here’s the ‘angst’.  Remember this post is made BEFORE the game release and thus can’t be seen as canon. It was made to feed my mind and other minds before the game’s release.  TW: violence No one knew how you did it, neither did you. Somehow you managed to capture Bimet’s heart without money being involved. In fact, you weren’t even rich enough for his standards. He would normally glare harshly at anyone that he deemed poor, which was a lot of people. So it was no surprise that everyone was shocked once Bimet asked for a more serious relationship. One where you both would actually put each other first. Not like the previous one where he only talked to you when he needed something, contract-wise. You don’t know why you accepted his request or confession, but a part of you wanted to know him way better than anyone else does. The start of the relationship was awkward. Both of you would talk to each other or hang out with each other as if it were some business meeting. He would talk your ear off about how you could use tricks to make more money and how to see if a product would catch certain audiences. If you learned something by then, it was how to handle things in Hell’s market, but apart from that you didn’t know anything about Bimet. You know that he loves money and how he handles things, but nothing about his favorite food. Or what he does when he isn’t doing money-related stuff. You knew nothing about pets or anything else about him. The business meetings which were masked as ‘dates’ increased to the point that you had to speak up and tell him that you’d rather want to know other things about him. He wasn’t pleased with hearing this, but he did understand that he can’t act as if you were his business partner. He started to do what you asked for, a relationship that went deeper than being business buddies. He would plan out expensive dates which he pays himself, because he knows that you can’t purchase anything that suits his tastes. These dates would range from an expensive dinner to a vacation to some spa resort. He would also amuse you by joining you on the smaller dates you planned yourself. He really didn’t see the appeal in joining you on some ice cream or picnic dates, but he did like to see you happy and comfortable. After some time you felt comfortable enough to stay at his place, though it took a while longer for Bimet to feel comfortable at your place which he described as a “claustrophobic shed”. You were patient with him and allowed him to open up at his pace. Eventually he was comfortable enough to even spend an entire week at your place. You were proud to see him feel comfortable at your place and you were proud to see that he was comfortable with you. He would also sometimes flaunt how you were at his side. The human that came to Hell to help the demons was his and his alone. You felt treasured by him. You felt more loved since you arrived in Hell. It was really funny to you how both you and Bimet started from a relationship that was purely transactional. It now blossomed into one where you trusted each other and where you could depend on each other. You both helped each other out. He was your knight that would save you from the dangers of both Hell and Heaven, while sometimes judging you. You were the more affectionate person in the relationship that made him feel at ease and showed him how being “cheap” is good once in a while. Everything was fine. Until he lost something he deemed more precious than you. That precious thing he lost, that piece of metal that he worshiped for centuries stood above you. It felt embarrassing to know that he would choose some material over an actual living being. You knew that he could be materialistic and you knew that it was something he cherished from the start. You weren’t angry, but you always felt this ‘pang of sadness’ in your chest whenever you see him being so focused and careful with the material. The memories he revisits whenever he has it near him and the look on his face when trying to remember those moments would often make you feel invisible. It was as if the material knew Bimet better than you ever could. And you accepted this thought. You were human after all. You didn’t see him from the very start. It took centuries for you to come into existence and it took another few years to meet him. You couldn’t blame him for cherishing something this deeply. One evening you decided that you needed some fresh air. You told Bimet that you will walk on the main street. The main streets were safer after all. The human world is dangerous and Hell is way more dangerous than earth. He only allows you to walk alone on the main streets. Whenever you want to explore he needed to be there with you. He is strong enough to fight for both of you if danger were to arise. On your walk, you didn’t notice some figure following you leading to you being dragged into an alley where you were robbed, you tried calling Bimet once, only for it to go to voice mail. That’s when you received a punch from the demon that was robbing you. A punch from a human may hurt a lot, but one from an entity that’s stronger than a human was like getting hit by a truck. Your head was struck and you started seeing double. Because of your will to live you tried to run out of the alleyway, but you passed out before you could reach anyone that could help. Bimet was still at his home. He wanted to go and look at his cherished trophy again before waiting for your return, but it wasn’t at its usual spot. Did he misplace it? Did he take it with him?... No, that can’t be. He would know. His mind raced and that’s when he remembers you. Angry he took out his phone and he noticed the one miscall. He decided to call you. Wanting to know where you dared to move his treasure to, but it went to voice mail. He called again and again while turning the house upside down. His anger getting worse by the second. That’s when he got a call from a maid. Telling him that they moved his possession to his safe room since they were doing some maintenance in its previous room. He fired the maid before storming out of the safe room. He entered the room and there it was. His treasure, his cherished trophy. He yet again thought about his past and the good and bad memories. After a while, he left his possession in the safe room. He remembered your miscall and saw that you haven’t replied to his calls yet. “Weird”, he thought as he waited for a call from you. That’s when he saw that Morax was calling him. “A noble that wants to do some business again?”, he thought as he picked up the call. He awaited what Morax had to say as his eyes widened at the news. They found you in an alleyway… Unresponsive? How? Why were you somewhere you weren’t allowed to be in? He didn’t waste any time as he rushed out the doors and towards your location. And there he saw you. In a bed, bandaged and sleeping. He was grateful that you were breathing, but seeing you in this state made him rethink his choices from a few moments ago. He started to feel regretful that he didn’t hear your call. He started feeling bad that he was blaming you for moving his treasure. He waited there for you to awaken. He didn’t care if it took hours, days, or weeks. He’ll wait for you. And that’s what he did. Sitting by your side. Making small conversations that he knew you couldn’t respond to. He did that all while waiting for you to awaken. When you woke up from the deep slumber you were hugged by him. The embrace felt warm and familiar, but you couldn’t remember this man hugging you. You softly pushed him away, resulting in you getting a confused look from him. You opened your mouth and the first words you muttered after your slumber was “… Sorry, but… Who are you?” Bimet gave you a hurtful look as he realized that you forgot him. He didn’t know what to say. What he did know was that this time, it was him that would wait for you to get comfortable. And he knew that this time he actually lost something that he should’ve treasured more from the start. He lost you.

[lazyyogi]

Hi Lazyyogi.

The word 'Resilience' was made up in the United States. Me in Europe, it has always made me cringe... Unfortunately, like a lot of the worst things from the US, it has spread its poison across Europe... I've always felt that this word was made up to say to people that any uncomfortable feeling can be overcome with the best fake attitude. I'm f* tired of seeing the promotion of that word being branded everywhere as a so-called rise to self-empowerment.. The deceit feels really horrendous and painful.

On one level I absolutely agree with you. There is something similar found in the corporate appropriation of “wellness” too.

Essentially this misuse focuses on how individuals should learn to tolerate unacceptable circumstances, demands, and expectations in the workplace.

The example to which I can speak is burnout in the workplace. As a resident surgeon, we receive a lot of education about how to avoid burnout. Things like maintaining important social connections, sleep hygiene, nutrition and exercise, and practicing meditation and mindfulness.

I’m a proponent of all of those things too. *However*, those things cannot and should not replace toxic culture/expectations in the workplace.

I attended a lecture last year that was given by the hospital wellness officer from a major hospital in California. They were discussing this new role of “wellness officer” and what it means in a hospital environment.

Refreshingly, the wellness officer’s role isn’t to put this burden on the individual employees but rather to examine and oversee changes regarding employee workflow. Essentially their job is to identify and optimize aspects of workplace infrastructure to better improve quality of life for the employees.

Rather than focusing on the business aspect (money) or the service aspect (patient care), they are there to advocate for and support the wellbeing of the healthcare providers from a systemic standpoint. This is to ensure that the wellbeing of the hospital workers are part of the conversation at the highest level in the hospital.

So to speak to your point about “resilience,” people will sometimes appropriate this concept to say “Well you should just learn to accept it.” It was something I saw and heard a lot of during the pandemic.

On another level, however, any and every uncomfortable feeling we may experience deserves our full attention.

Our first instinct is to rid ourselves of that uncomfortable feeling. Whether that means pushing it away, distracting ourselves with something else, or repressing it.

Learning to stay with our uncomfortable feelings—our cringyness, our squeamishness, our suffering—is a life-altering skill. It is a mark of true maturity.

By staying with your discomfort, you acclimate to the feeling in a way that you no longer feel so yikes about it. This grants you a degree of grace when dealing with uncomfortable and challenging situations.

But more than that, it is by staying with your uncomfortable feelings that you can examine them. From where is the discomfort arising? While its external trigger may be obvious, the internal causes may be less apparent.

Through experiential insight into our feelings of discomfort, we can free ourselves from them. Sometimes that freedom means the discomfort evaporates entirely. And sometimes that freedom means the presence of discomfort no longer controls us, making us squirm and try to run away.

This is possible but it does take repeated practice and determination. Some people identify so strongly with their suffering that they reject the very possibility of being free from it. It is unfortunate but my focus has been on helping those who ask for it and leaving alone those don’t. Exceptions may be when someone’s ignorance creates direct harm for others. Then I may feel compelled to get involved.

LY

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

The other day I wanted to show someone a photo of something on my camera. This involved clicking through a LOT of pics.

On seeing some of my sculpted faces… “What do you DO with them?” Well, I sculpt them like doodles, take pics to post on Tumblr (and have a record if they break) during breakfast, and then wrap them in tissue before throwing them into a storage container. When the storage container is full I start another, but they never come out again….

I mean, what could I do? Little faces sculpted with little care, no work space or money to buy materials for casting or adding them to anything, and too fragile for a lot of handling.

I sculpt them because my fingers need to sculpt. I sculpt because it’s a quick and easy way to have made something at the end of the day. I sculpt to hold the hollowness of my existence at bay. The act of sculpting and having sculpted is all that matters. Turning them, reducing them really, into a product never crosses my mind!

On seeing my photos of the woods… “You need to make Tik Tok videos of them! People make a LOT of money on there and your photos are so good!”

Well, first, most people on Tik Tok probably don’t make any money at all. And the ones that get rich are the equivalent of community theater actors becoming movie stars. They are rare.

Secondly, TikTok means videos. I don’t even make video things I want to record (ex. those otters chatting and playing) because my very old tech is so rickety and out of memory. I can’t fit a video on my computer, and I can’t edit it. Plus my internet is so poor I doubt I can upload videos if I wanted to.

Thirdly, as far as I can tell without being on TikTok, it involves a lot of people filming themselves. I can NOT put my ugly face and hideous voice online as it might be considered a crime against humanity!

Look, there isn’t enough me for MORE social media. Just posting on Tumblr is getting to be almost too much for me. It has been YEARS since I posted on Facebook (hate it! That place does my brain in). I keep meaning to do something with my Ko-Fi, but I can’t even get around to adding more pics. I’d never have the time or energy for TikTok!

I get it though. I have heard it before. Someone once said there was “No excuse” for someone so “talented” (HA! That’s a joke!) not making money. They think it’s just a matter of throwing things out there and the world will flock to you.

It isn’t like that. Even if I were as talented as they assume, it would take at the very least a huge investment of time and energy I don’t have. I got soooo envious of a sculptor at a comic con who told me how her husband takes care of the business so she can make art. Not everyone has someone to help them. Mostly though, success is simply a matter of luck!

But there people go, letting you know that anything you do that doesn’t make money is a waste. It’s proof you aren’t trying hard enough.

There are people creating masterpieces out there that will die in poverty, but their making things is NOT a waste of time! It’s not a waste of time to make things that make you happy, even if you never make a damn penny! If your life is better for it, that’s enough!

And here I am, working my ass off to survive, living in isolation and wearing myself away, even cutting back on my own food to save money (grocery shopping once a month now…oh, joy!), and yet I am made to feel guilty for spending a couple hours at night sculpting or taking pictures during my increasingly rare and short walks in the woods. How dare I make myself smile instead of falling down dead chasing hypothetical dollars???

I’m barely sculpting anymore. I’m struggling to get to the woods at all. I’m so worn out I’m having trouble even finding these things fun anymore, and now I’m supposed to add guilt and shame because I’m not making a profit?

It’s like if you live in a desert but have a spring on your property. The stream is drying out, but you need it to survive. And someone rolls up saying, “Hey! You need food, so why haven’t you sold your water rights?? I’m being helpful here, but you just aren’t trying!”

People always assume I’m sitting on a gold mine I’m just too lazy or stupid to exploit. It makes me angry. And tired.

[eljeebee]

Sophia went outside and joined the younger girl. Sid only glanced up, before moving to give her space to sit.

“Everything okay, Sid?”

“Sid?” Sophia asked again, her voice gentle.

Sid finally looked up, “Aunt Soph…”

She smiled, “You okay?”

That day, she was feeling out of place with the family. Sure, she’s included in the activities, and everyone makes sure she is. But this time, something deep gnawed in the pit of her stomach. It felt heavy, like her stomach rumbling, and her heart felt like it dropped. She doesn’t know why she’s...jealous.

Should she tell this to her? Isn’t that kind of embarrassing?

“Sid?”

With a deep breath, she confessed, “Aunt Soph,” she started, “please don’t be mad. It’s not your fault, it’s just that…”

“That?”

“I…I feel left out when I’m with the family,” Sid’s voice started to waver. “I’m – I don’t – ugh – this is so hard – look, I’m grateful for you and everything you’ve done for, for taking me in, it’s just that…it’s just that I wish I have a proper family like yours. I wish I have a sibling like Mason, a mom and a dad like you and Uncle Jason, and…and I wish…”

“And I wish my aunt’s here. I miss her so much, Auntie. I miss her. I lost my dad, the dad I knew growing up, then my aunt went on this – this revenge mission and I’ve lost the rest of my family in one night, when I was a baby, all because of vampires, all because of my real dad wanted my real mom’s wealth. I wish I wasn’t born! I wish I wasn’t born into that family – I wish I was born into a family like yours. Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way, maybe I’d be normal. Maybe we wouldn’t be involved with vampires.”

“I’m sorry, Sid, I didn’t know you feel that way.”

“Don’t say sorry,” Sid said, “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for complaining, you did a lot for me. You include me in everything, especially in your bills. Not even your kid. I feel like I’m overstepping. I’ve been thinking of asking my aunt for more money, but I can’t contact her, and I don’t know how to. And I don’t want to risk everyone’s safety…”

“Sid, you’re not overstepping,” Sophia gently pushed Sid’s head to rest on her shoulder. “I’m actually glad you’re with us. I can’t bear the thought of a kid alone, out there, exposed to those monsters. Papa wouldn’t allow any kid being alone, and hungry. He loves cooking and cooks a damn lot. Watcher forbid, the fridge’s going to burst with all the food and other stuff he has in it. But he doesn’t mind. You’re another good reason to cook more. We don’t mind, darling. I don’t mind helping you financially.”

“Really?” Sid felt embarrassed. She wanted to bury her face in the ground. She felt like she had no right to complain this way when she’s lucky to have friends like these. They gave her so much support.

Sophia nodded, “Before Jason and I got married, I won the lottery. With that money, we moved to San Sequioa and started a life there. It helped with the house and the bills, and the equipment he needed to pursue being a chef. Even with that money, I continued to support him by working hard in the business world. We earned. We saved a lot. We’ve set aside to use that on the boys’ college education. It’s our duty to help them through school. Heck, we’ll even continue supporting them even after graduation until they’ve found a stable job.”

She continued, “Point is, that lottery is something that helped us to where we are, and I want to be that something that’ll help you to get where you want to be, darling. I see the way you study hard; I see the way you practice hard on chess. I see you writing something on your phone, and I’m sorry for peeking but please do not stop writing. If you want to be a writer? I’ll support you. With our current state, money is easy return with how we’re comfortable with how we earn it, so I’m confident to use it for you. So please, Sid, don’t worry about it.”

“You’d do that for me?” Sid’s breath hitched.

“You’re family, Sid. Jason told me that he’ll be the one to support you through college and – ”

Sid leaned more on her shoulder, her hand squeezing Sophia’s other hand.

Sophia squeezed her hand back.

“I’m so sorry. I feel so awful, gosh, Watcher, I’m such an awful person, I’m so sorry for complaining.”

“No, you’re not!” Sophia kissed the top of her head. “What you feel is valid. And you probably miss your aunt.”

“I do. I wish she could experience stuff like this with me.”

“Maybe someday! You can visit Granite Falls again with her. Be her tour guide!”

“Thank you, Aunt Soph. Once I graduate from college, I promise I’ll make it up to you and your family.”

“Oh, darling, you don’t have to!”

“But I want to. As a thank you.”

previous | next

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Jennifer Lopez

At this point, Jay is very unpopular with the world at large. There’s many things come out about her that aren’t too good and also she could be attached to this whole Diddy drama with the fact that his house got rated the things with Rodney Jenkins the music prodigy who works on did he love album And the fact that at the time did he spilt some tea on the fact that the night he was in the club with Jennifer that they did have a gun and that she held it in his purse and he did shoot someone it was down to him even though somebody else got the jail sentence these fucking people up in power. Everything is a bribery. Everything is a game and you you win or you lose it so snakes and ladders, it’s why they’re also connected to Jeffrey Epstein as well because that was all a game of bribery they all cameras in the house they all up to the same debauchery rubbish but different degrees and it kind of reminds me of is the pornographic world and how porn actors go Darker and darker into the role of it so let’s say someone starts off doing a blow job scene, then they get told alright you’re ready for sex now we do it all different positions everything, and the woman’s like yeah sure I’ll do that I don’t mind at all and then carries on and something comes along. There is something that isn’t quite you but you get told that you’ll get paid a lot of money for doing this act now there are choices in this but they may not feel like they have those choices, especially if they’re working with the butcher kind of people which I’m sure they are, talk about it. She said about the time and she has tears in her eyes when someone pissed down her throat., and I’m sorry I have to say as somebody used to love porn in their 20s and late teenagers, looking back and I always thought it at the time anyway I hate the way they were the pornos and the films for example fat slut takes it up there or something like that, it’s never for men men just treated differently and always well-being. It seems., it’s just unfair that it’s just realistic.,,,, anyway going back to the scenario they get paid all this money for doing it so they do it and then another thing comes up and then they get numb to it and then they start taking drugs to cope with the pain all the time you’re gonna be destroying and you have to have the right mental constitution is gonna end badly.

She is definitely into this world Jennifer Lopez that that is she came into the scene with Diddy when he got her on this song that was originally somebody else’s surprise surprise I’m that was if you had my love, because before that she was more of an actress and if you’re a millennial you grew up with Jennifer and at the time of course he didn’t know all these things. I was a huge fan but we started to slowly realise that it was her vocals that she was using Natasha Ramos! Anyway, she got involved with Tommy Matola, who at this point was Mariah Carey‘s ex-husband and at the time he hated Mariah and he wanted to sabotage her career mainly because she’d got away from him he brought brought and had them but changed a little bit to her music. He’d ring up all the radio station saying don’t play any music off. The glitter soundtrack . Wendy Williams was one of the first people to Diddy and I think she was hinting at the fact that he was gay , see you guys people don’t mind if you’re gay. That is not the problem. The problem is that you are homophobic and closeted. That is the part that people do not like, and the other part people do not like is the fact that your predatory and that you grow up and that you do things to people , and let’s face it Jennifer Lopez is a glorified Kardashian if you wanna put it nicely , she’s an amazing business , a nice person she was told or told people not to look in the eyes and you know Wendy Williams dead she did it anyway and I love her. I miss Wendy somebody said she followed Jay to the bathroom and she didn’t wash her hands . but now she is connected to another ex who is her husband I think and that is Ben Affleck who has his own issues with addiction and alcoholism , and she still from Jennifer Gardner who was there for him , Yes, maybe so so she has a passion of being with people for my past and also while she was with Puff Daddy P. Diddy whatever you wanna call him he was with his wife Kim Porters, but Jennifer Lopez was his showgirl girlfriend his celebrity girlfriend his popstar .

So Jennifer isn’t that popular for many reasons such as that and the fact that she stole lyrics of Ashanti and her voice the fact I say she’s a glorified Kardashian she’s made a career of not very much and then there’s a few with Mariah Carey and I don’t know her, and I don’t take no shit. She’s not gonna pretend she’s not gonna be humble like Ashanti is because Mariah is not a libra like Ashanti she’s a powerful Aries woman and it’s just another case of. I don’t know her in my case me talking to you here Leo woman who cannot stand the fact she’s getting older and less relevant who is another Leo woman who does this? Why who else could it be? Madonna Who has a reputation of not being that madonna, who are the people who don’t Madonna Diana Ross Michael Jackson Cher . I think the time could come where she has looked into because of the whole Diddy situation correct me if I’m wrong but he’s just an example of why is not so popular but she has that healthy Leo ego I’ve not giving a shit .

[skylarmoon71]

Patrick Jane (Mentalist) - Short Story : Chapter 1

Becoming an agent was supposed to make things different.

You knew it was a little naive.

It’s not like you were a kid, you just hoped this time that life would work in your favor. That you could find someone trustworthy who wasn’t after your father’s money or reputation.

The sad thing was you hadn’t spoken to him in ages.

At the age of eighteen you left. He was the one that said if you hated the name, the status that much, then you should go. It was a jab, you knew he never thought you’d actually do it. But when you packed up your things after graduation and left him a letter, there was really nothing he could do. Now as you try to pursue your own life, your own goals, his name is still there controlling you.

“Hi John.”

You smiled at your boyfriend and he nodded at you, giving your hand a little squeeze. The both of you were agents, but he worked in a different sector. So technically no rules were being broken. But you were still a bit cautious.

“Still on for dinner?” He asked with a smile.

You nod happily.

“Of course, I just have a little paperwork to get done, then I should be ready. 8pm right?”

“Yep, don’t be late."

He was running off and you just clenched the file to your chest, content. On your way to your desk you ran into a certain consultant.

“Hey Jane.”

He didn’t respond immediately. He seemed distracted. When you waved your hand he blinked. You tilted your head, because he was staring off in the direction that John left.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes, peachy.”

Even though he said that, there was that look on his face, like he was holding back something. Knowing Jane you probably didn’t want to get involved.

“Well okay.”

Brushing it off, you took your seat, eager to finish so you could prepare for a good night.

“Actually there is something. I think John is a liar and he’s using you.”

Jane’s words caught you off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“He’s a liar, trust me you can do so much better.”

You knew Jane was someone who was never afraid to speak his mind. But he’d crossed a line. Especially since he knew absolutely nothing about John.

“I’d appreciate it if you left me alone now.”

You turned back your focus, now agitated. Jane said nothing more, picking up the book from his couch as he walked away.

“I’m just looking out for you.”

He whispered as he walked by.

You ignored him, but you couldn’t shake the feeling. Jane had never once been mean to you. Wherever he saw you there was a smile and he’d even brought you coffee once because he’d spilled yours. He was charming, nice. So you weren’t sure why he was suddenly acting so cruel.

Shaking it off, you just kept your eyes on the file. You didn’t have the time or energy to worry about it.

For the next few hours you stay busy. The only time you get up is to grab a cup of coffee. At some point you watched the clock. It was only 6:30pm. You were glad. You still had a lot of time to get home and change. Standing, you felt content with the amount of work you’d accomplished. You were about to grab your coat and head out, but a folded piece of paper next to your coffee mug caught your eye. You hadn’t even noticed it. Picking it up, you opened the paper.

Meet me at the men’s bathroom, I have your phone.

-Jane.

You frowned, patting your pockets. Sure enough it was gone.

“Damn it.”

You didn’t have time for his games. Gripping the piece of paper, you stormed over the the men’s restroom. Sure enough he was standing there, skulking around like he was waiting for something.

“Jane this isn’t funny I-”

You could hear two voices coming around the corner and Jane grabbed your hand.

“Follow me.”

He pulled you into the restroom and you just stared.

“What the hell are you-”

“Shhhh!”

You were dragged into a stall as he pressed his hands to his lips. When the doors open you heard two pairs of footsteps and you glared at Jane mouthing some very angry words.

“What the hell Jane!!”

He just gestured for you to listen.

“So you get anything from that millionaire chick yet?”

“Nah, she’s as tight as a drum.”

Your body froze, because you recognized the second voice.

It was John.

“I’ve only been dating her for a month though. I just have to be smart about it. If I play my cards right I could marry into a fortune.”

Both men were laughing and you heard the tap open, no doubt they were probably washing their hands.

You looked back at Jane, disbelief on your face. That quickly turned to anger and you forced your way out.

“Marry into a fortune huh.”

John spun around, clearly startled and Jane walked out awkwardly.

“Hey.” He waved.

John was at your side in an instant.

“Babe, it’s not what you think I was just-”

“I think I know exactly what you were doing. Asshole!!”

You kicked him right in the crotch and he buckled falling to the ground as his friend rushed to his side. You stormed out of the restroom, Jane following behind.

You were pissed and hurt, but you forced yourself not to cry, not in front of them.

“I’m sorry.” Jane called.

You halted, turning to him.

“How did you know?”

It wasn’t so much a question, more like an order.

“John and his buddy make a habit of gossiping in the bathroom. It’s always after their usual shift. I heard them, that’s why I tried to warn you.” He reached into his pocket, your phone in his palm.

“I sent him a text telling him that you would be leaving soon. I knew that meant he’d tried to meet you so you could go home together. Right after he used the bathroom. He’s a creature of habit. It wasn’t hard to figure it out.”

You’re not that surprised, more like disappointed because you were almost sure that you’d escaped the shadow your father had over you for all those years but you were wrong.

“It must feel really good to be right.”

You grabbed the phone from his hand, walking off.

For the remainder of that week John kept texting, calling, trying to see you. Ultimately you had blocked his number, and when he showed up in the bullpen, all you could think about was punching him in the face.

“(Y/N), can we please talk.”

It was in the middle of a case, everyone was there. You barely gave him a glance.

“Boss, I’ll go with Rigsby and Cho.” You walked around John, and they followed behind.

No one knew the particulars, but the entire building was now aware that you were no longer with John.

More than anything, you felt stupid. For trusting him. Trusting that you could actually find someone who wouldn’t be drawn to you only for the money.

Your approach was to try not to dwell on it. But you couldn’t ignore the looks some of your coworkers sent you when you walked into the building. Like they pitied you. It made you feel pathetic.

A particularly hard case wasn’t exactly helping. Running a hand through your hair, you played with the necklace in hopes that it would provide a distraction. The memory of where you got the piece of jewelry resurfaced in your mind and you instantly felt agitated. You ripped it off your neck.

Jane and the others looked up at the action, just as you tossed it into the trash. You’d been so annoyed that you hadn’t realized they were watching you the entire time. When you finally look up, they just send sympathetic looks. No one really said anything, and you just frowned. It was bad enough that he broke your heart, but now you were looking like a sad bitter ex-girlfriend at work.

Right at that moment you would be fine if a volcano opened up at your feet and swallowed you in.

“If it makes you feel any better I had to shoot my last boyfriend. Turns out he was working for a serial killer.” Vanpelt offered.

Silence resounded in the room after her comment. No one says a thing, they seem to just be waiting for your reaction.

You couldn’t help it, you laughed and she did too.

Lisbon was hiding her smile. That was quite honestly the most messed up thing you’d ever heard. You were aware of the rumors when you joined the unit, but you tried not to pay it much mind and it’s not like you were going to ask her point blank such a question.

“That actually makes me feel a lot better, thank you.”

She smiled, happy that for the first time that week you weren’t wearing a sullen expression.

So you finish out your shift. Vanpelt walks over just as she is about to head out, giving you a hug.

“Say the word and I’ll shoot John too.”

You’re laughing again, and she pats your back as she leaves. Your intention is to take your leave as well. You actually feel better than you have since the incident. This might be the first night that you aren’t crying over that idiot.

Packing your phone and grabbing your coat, you stand, but your eyes shift to Jane’s couch. His head is in a book. He only looks over when he seems to realize that you’re just standing there.

Now might be time for you to own up and face him. You walk over to him and he lowers the book to his lap.

“I’m sorry about the way I reacted. You were looking out for me. I should have been thanking you instead of treating you like that.”

Jane might be ruthless with his methods, but in the end he did find out the truth. You're somewhat thankful that the discovery was made one month in rather than six.

“I understand, you were upset. I should have gone about it differently.”

In all fairness he had told you before the encounter. You just refused to believe it.

“I wish I could read people as well as you.”

All you wanted was to see past the lies. The way he seems to brighten is a bit worrying.

“Then how about I teach you.”

You think he’s joking, but he looks serious.

“Wait, really?”

“Sure, why not. I’ve always wanted to train an apprentice. It’s a win-win, my legacy continues and you won’t have to worry about any more backstabbers.”

You did like the sound of that.

With a smile you hold out your hand.

“Alright, I guess I’m on board. Show me everything, teach.”

His smile was just as wide as yours, taking your hand.

“I’ll be happy to.”

[ingravinoveritas]

WOW AL does not miss a single thing! Good Omens 2 news date just came out and she’s already posting pictures of her promoting the show using a water bottle with the name on it. Also, GT. PLEASE PLEASE go look on her story RIGHT fucking now because she actually said that people have dmed her saying that she’s burning food on purpose for instagram content and she talks about it!! ALSO, radio silence from Anna for a while now and she decides to break the news with promo for Good Omens. I truly truly truly hope this isn’t some way relating to her being in the show. SO MUCH HAPPENING AMY PLEASE TALK ABOUT IT

Hi, Anons! I did indeed see all of the posts that you have mentioned, so yes, quite a lot going on today. I'm going to divide this response into two parts, first starting with the GO 2-themed Insta stories. Let's get the visuals up so we can discuss:

I know there's been some content over the past week or so that I haven't gotten to talk about--AL posting that terrible picture of her and Michael on May 1st barely an hour after Georgia had posted a new picture of David; a few days after that, Georgia posting a picture with Birdie and AL immediately following it with a picture of her and Mabli; and the weird pictures Georgia posted of David looking pissed off/annoyed after the RSC event--so I do apologize for falling behind a bit. But obviously this is all relevant to today's events, so here we go.

First of all, it seems pretty clear that these posts were planned and coordinated ahead of time. The water bottles, the sunglasses, even the striped shirts all seem deliberate and purposeful (one of my followers even suggested the black/white contrast may have been done to reflect Aziraphale vs. Crowley). The word "opportunistic" comes to mind, as well as marveling at (to quote @daziechane) AL telling people to stay hydrated "when she's the thirsty one."

But I think what you said is very interesting, Anon #2, in that Michael and David (and Ty/Peter) are not promoting the show, while Georgia and AL are. This certainly could speak to them not being it (which I hope is the case), as well as them showing off their 'consolation prizes,' so to speak. I particularly got that vibe from AL's post--a very "Look what I have that you don't" bragging sort of vibe, which I also usually get from her pictures with Michael--but mainly what it feels like to me is that Michael and David are busy having actual careers and don't need to constantly remind us how they feel about GO, whereas Georgia and AL are still trying to prove something.

It just feels desperate, and in AL's case, a bit stupid, as she didn't even mirror her camera when taking the picture, so the words on the bottle are backwards, and if this is meant to be PR/promotion, why wouldn't you be sure the writing is legible? Also, I'm not sure what Georgia is doing to the bottle, but I think we can safely say that David has less of a gag reflex than she does:

So, now let's go on to part 2 of this answer, which is regarding the videos Georgia posted about burning food. For those who haven't seen the video, you can watch it here:

I think it's worth noting that prior to the videos, she posted yet another picture of burnt food, so it seems as if the picture was just an excuse to post the subsequent videos.

I'm glad to know that other people have been calling her out for this, though. And the excuses she gave in the video seemed like exactly that--excuses for the fact that she is self-involved and can't be bothered to check on the food she is cooking. It also seems incredibly hypocritical to me that Georgia has previously reposted an Insta story about the cost of living crisis in the UK and the absurdity of spending money on the Coronation while people are going hungry, while having no problem wasting food herself.

Ultimately, my takeaway from the videos is that Georgia has and will continue to do whatever she has to for the sake of content, regardless of how hypocritical or tone deaf it comes across. But it seems clear that others have noticed what we all have, and I'm hoping that the willingness of folks to call her out will maybe--maybe--make her think twice before posting such content again. I'm not entirely hopeful, but, well...you never know.

As for Georgia/AL having Tumblr and seeing what we say, I honestly am not sure, though I tend to doubt it. My guess is that people are calling Georgia out on Instagram, where she can readily see it, and that's what spurred this response. (I'm 94% sure though that Michael did visit my blog once like four years ago when he was still heavily into the fandom, and that he sent me this Anon in response to a het fic I wrote about him.)

But Georgia and AL would have us believe they're too busy/too important to be caring what fans say, so if for some reason they have nothing better to do than wander over to Tumblr to read what people are saying, my take is that none of us can control what they do--we can only control what we do. And I'm not going to alter my blog or the honest conversations I try to facilitate on it just on the minuscule off-chance that one of them might be lurking.

So those are my thoughts on the events of today. Notable developments all, yet none of them hold a candle to the news of the GO 2 release date, and the wonderful new promo poster. It'll certainly be interesting to see where things go from here on out...

[alyjojo]

Thinking of You - April ✂️ 2024 - Aquarius

Whole of their energy towards Aquarius: Ace of Swords

Feelings: Page of Wands

Intentions: 9 Pentacles

Actions: King of Pentacles rev

This person is undependable, or you are. Ace of Swords can be like a wake up call, or something is said or realized that sets off a chain reaction in this connection with Wheel of Fortune, already has, or will. The Hermit at the bottom, intentions being just focusing on themselves and what they want, need, their work. For some of you this is someone at work, but with Promise & Fury being in the oracles, it’s probably a closer connection. Doesn’t have to be love but it’s someone you or they feel like…you should be able to rely on this person, and you/they can’t. There’s a lot of conflict between you. If work, you could be competing with others for something you feel like *you* were promised, why are others involved?? Or that could be any relationship really. You could also have argued over how things are changing, things that are outside of your control, and being fixed that’s very difficult for you to deal with.

In their feelings, again could be either side, for some this is the Aqua. Page of Wands clarified by 9 Cups, these are hopes and dreams you or they find inspiring, it’s the life force inside of you, the things that get your blood pumping, when you envision a future, these things are what you’re thinking of. It’s like this person just shits on these things - OPENLY - with no regard for your feelings. Or they see you that way. The High Priestess rev with 5 Swords, someone isn’t even trying to hide their mean & nasty mouth, underhanded comments, petty behaviors, like what do you/they really expect to gain from that? A closer connection? Victory how? 9 Swords at the bottom, this person has played some of these things in their mind like a broken record, mean behaviors, or they may even think you *enjoy* being that way. Or switch. What? 🥴

In the intentions is just minding their own business, what they can control, could be an earth sign, Queen of Pentacles at the bottom. She runs these pentacles, very responsible, on top of things, making her money, getting shit done, she doesn’t *need* anyone and she knows it. Temperance clarifying shows this person trying to keep calm, they don’t want to fight. There clearly is fighting, petty behavior and snide bs going on, and this person has taken several steps back like…you can do that all by yourself mmkay. Not interested. Very independent energy.

In action, this person could become work obsessed, maybe they already are. The Queen showed up at the bottom of the deck and the King is here reversed, for those in relationships it’s like this person may work more to try to avoid or just not talk to you, keeping themselves busy on purpose. If you work together, they’re going out of their way to not have to speak to you as much as possible. Before they may have shown up as a friend or tried to, and after interacting with you it’s like they’ve realized okay no, it’s just business now. They’ll probably have a tone change, something about their demeanor, they’ve simply seen the truth, in their mind, Wheel of Fortune indicates a cycle or a long period of time for some, like this has been going on long enough and they’re not going to engage in conflict or drama, nor are they going to let someone tear down their hopes and dreams - cuz the world doesn’t do that enough right? Do wtf you want. Or switch it. The foot is down 🦶

Messages:

Their side:

- STATUS 😎

- Too different.

Your side:

- I want to have my cake and eat it too 🍰

- Really Tall

Oracles:

Sit Happens 🧘‍♂️

Origin 🌱

Initiation - Creativity - Vitality

Promise 💍

Responsible - Confirmation - Assurance

Fury 🤬

Offense - Madness - Unpleasantness

Possible signs:

Heavy Sagittarius, Pisces, Aquarius & Virgo

If you’re dealing with:

The Moon is a fearful energy, there’s no clarity in some of these relationships, or hidden factors are involved. You’re not sure you can trust the people around you, you got that message last reading too, probably with good reason right? There could also be things you’re hiding from others, or projecting onto them even, when there’s no clarity, The Moon can go haywire in the brain assuming the worst and concocting worst case scenarios. It’s also a card of intuition, walking through the dark and your other senses are heightened, which will be true in other cases. You know without having to know. You or others.

Aries - could be this person they have two of the exact same cards, same energy, it’s like you or they allow others to compete for their time & energy and someone’s perspective has or will shift because of this - no thanks 👎

Taurus - heartbroken by a sudden ending and new beginning they never saw coming, this person really loves/d you

Gemini - giving you a baby? Be careful. Offering you something to help you move forward in some way, generally feels helpful.

Cancer - nostalgic about how things used to be and continues to stalk you vs saying words, and if you do talk it’s mostly about the past

Leo - sorry they walked out on you, wants to reunite, or that’s switched - there’s love here

Virgo - falling in love with you, could be a brand new relationship that has all of the feels

Libra - something they’ve invested in is bearing fruit and they’re so happy about it, for someone it’s literally gardening, tis the season 🌺

Scorpio - its over and they’ve healed from it

Sagittarius - the boss’s right hand man? Someone you work with and look up to as a leader, you refrain from judging them harshly like you might with other people - why idk

Capricorn - quietly loves you and wants to move on from the drama without being verbal…do they realize you’re an air sign? 💬

Aquarius - has left, is returning, still on the same toxic bs they were on when they left

Pisces - either sees you as spicy but unreliable or that’s switched, they like you, but don’t like how impulsive you are - it’s like *eyeroll* 🙄

[nowimembarrassed]

ROMANTIC NOVEL: BLACK X ASIAN OC

Title: The Dandelion and The Flame

Narrator POV

Madelaine is startled awake by her daily alarm just as she is about to see the face of the man in her dreams. She has been having this similar dream for years now, but every time she is about to see his face, she wakes up, or if she does see it, she cannot remember it. What she does remember is the warmth and familiarity of the person. The dream always goes similarly; she is being held in the arms of someone she doesn’t know but understands is her partner, married, or dating. Sometimes, they are on a date, in an intimate space like a bedroom, getting married, or even with their children. At some point, she started looking forward to it. Though she has a boyfriend, it is a different feeling — a feeling of comfort and closeness that she has not been able to replicate when she is awake with anyone. She has had these dreams for so long that it has become a joke in her friend group, and Madelaine's friends refer to him as the “dream man.”

She brushed off the frustration of not seeing his face yet again and grabbed her phone off the charger to check for a text from her boyfriend of six months, Chris. Sure enough, the text message was there, along with a reminder.

“Remember that you agreed to go with me to the party”

“I’m gonna pick you up”

-Chris

Chris is a part of her university’s basketball team and a fraternity. His frat decided to throw a pre-game party before the team had a homecoming game. Madelaine isn’t a usual fan of frat parties. As a law student, she understands many illegal things happen there, and it’s easy to get caught up. Though her focus is business and financial law and not criminal law, she has studied many cases involving college students getting drunk and making almost irreversible mistakes. Almost irreversible because she believes that if someone has enough money, anything is reversible. She decided to send a quick reply before getting dressed.

“I got some stuff to do, so I’ll text you when Joyce and I are ready” -Madelaine

“I don’t need you waiting on me and then rushing me” - Chris

Joyce is one of Madelaine’s roommates, along with Paige and Kelani. She met Joyce during freshman year in a law class and met Kelani and her best friend last year when she joined an on-campus debate club. They now share a college apartment meant for upperclassmen. Paige and Kelani did not want to come to the frat party because they had a lot to do. Paige is studying chemical engineering, and Kelani is a women’s studies and public affairs double major. They are piled in work at the time.

Madelaine had already attended her classes for the day in the morning and decided to return to the apartment to take a nap and get ready before heading out again. When she walked into the kitchen and living room area, there was no one in the apartment. She decided to do something thoughtful for everyone and prepare a meal that everyone could enjoy when they returned.

Done cooking, she quickly took a shower before anyone returned. Since there is one shared bathroom, using the shower can be very competitive.

She entered her bedroom with her towel firmly wrapped around her chest and headed over to her tall closet. She began sifting through all the clothes she had brought with her on campus. Moving on-campus was hard for many reasons, but the hardest adjustment she had to make was leaving her extensive closet and only taking what was necessary. After digging and putting different pieces together, she made up her mind to wear a bubblegum pink cami top with thick straps linked by silver rings that she had gotten from the thrift store years ago. She paired the top with a pair of light-wash jeans that fell far past her ankles, almost dragging on the floor whenever she walked. For the final touches, she added her pink DIY crochet hat and an oversized jean jacket that matched her pants.

Once her outfit was thoroughly planned, Madelaine walked over to her vanity and began to get ready. Ever so often keeping her eye on her phone and the time. She pulled her hat snuggly over her old box braids before digging through her jewelry box. She hadn't had time to re-do her hair since the semester started. She searched for any pieces of jewelry that could take this outfit up a notch. She finally found one of Chris’ gold link chains that he left when he stayed over. She gently placed it around her neck, careful not to break it. Once wearing the chain, she added other gold pieces then stood in the mirror and admired how it complimented her dark skin.

The sound of the front door of the apartment outfit snapped her gaze to her bedroom door. She carefully listened to the footsteps for a minute before deducing it was one of her roommates.

“Joyce! Hurry up and shower”, Madelaine called out.

She received no response from the other person so she turned down her music and went silent waiting for a response but still there was none. Instead, there was a knock on her room door before it opened.

“Sorry, It’s me”

“Oh, Hi Paige, what you doing back so soon?” Madelaine asked. Usually, Paige came back later in the day, around 7 or 8.

“I became overstimulated and needed to come back,” Paige answered before walking out of the room and making her way to her room. Madelaine follows her out, “did you need anything?” Madelaine asked confused.

“Nope, just wanted to let you know I was home” Paige turns to Madelaine to reply with a shrug.

“Okay”, Madelaine replied before heading back to her room.

Madelaine later received a message from Joyce.

“Hey gurl, I’m going to head to the party later with Fuhad” -Joyce

Madelaine lets out a chuckle. She had a feeling that they had been hanging out again. They have had an on-and-off relationship for some time. Fuhad is also in the Frat but on the soccer team instead of the basketball team. Madelaine met Chris one day when she went with Joyce to meet Fuhad.

“Mhm text me when you get to the party” -Madelaine

Once Madelaine was ready, she called Chris and told him to pick her up. She did not have a car at the moment because she couldn’t afford it, so Chris has been driving her everywhere.

“Where is Joyce?”

Chris asked once Madelaine got in the car.

“She is going with Fuhad”.

He says nothing in response because he is also aware of their situationship

“Let's go get some food before going so we don’t fuck our stomachs up”, Chris said as he drove out of the parking lot

The thumping music spilled out from the frat house, and the front yard was packed with folks, some wearing shirts and others going shirtless. Chris slung his arm casually around Madelaine's shoulder as they walked in, exchanging greetings with friends scattered across the lively scene.

Once inside, the party vibe continued to buzz. Chris's frat friends, familiar with his relationship but not particularly close to Madelaine, greeted them. The couple was quickly ushered into the bustling kitchen, where one of Chris's friends eagerly pulled them aside to grab the first round of drinks.

Amidst the clatter of cups and chatter, Madelaine couldn't help but notice the distinct smell wafting from the iconic red solo cup. Playing it safe, she recognized the need to pace herself and not go overboard with whatever was in that cup. As the night unfolded, she embraced the mix of excitement and caution at the frat house gathering.

“Okay, Miss Thing! You all dressed up”, Chris’s friend yelled over the music as he dapped them both up.

“Fuhad is coming with Joyce,” Chris told his friend, which caused the man to roll his eyes.

Everyone in the Frat knew exactly what was going on with the two.

After standing with Chris and chatting with him and his friends, Madelaine decided that she wanted to hit the dance floor. She started to feel a little tipsy and wanted to distract herself from drinking. Most of the people at the party were from the frat and their friends. She felt somewhat safe but not entirely secure; after all, it was a frat party. While dancing, she met a few women on the dance floor who complimented her makeup and outfit, and she began dancing with them, forming new connections. Chris remained within sight, keeping a watchful eye on her.

After dancing energetically until fatigue set in, Madelaine chose to retreat to a dingy couch close by, accompanied by some newfound female acquaintances. Across from her sat an Asian girl with bone-straight, shiny black hair that swayed effortlessly as she bobbed her head to the music. The room was dimly lit, making it hard for Madelaine to discern the details of the girl's outfit, but from the ripped red mesh stockings and her boots, Madelaine knew that her ensemble was stunning.

As if she could sense Madelaine analyzing her outfit, the girl turned her head and gave Madelaine a gentle smile, which Madelaine returned. Wasting no time, Madelaine mouthed across to her, “I love your boots,” then pointed to her Demonia Camel 311s. The girl's gaze followed Madelaine's pointing finger to her shoes before looking back up at Madelaine and mouthing a, “Thank you,” in response. The girl returned to aimlessly listening to music, and Madelaine carried on her conversation with the other girls.

As the lively discussion continued, Madelaine's attention shifted when a man strolled over and took a seat beside the Asian girl. Nonchalantly draping his arm around her, they exuded a comfortable familiarity that caught Madelaine's peripheral gaze.

The girl seemed preoccupied by whatever the man was whispering in her ear, completely unaware that he had secretly dropped something into her drink. While others remained oblivious, Madelaine, ever watchful, caught onto the concerning act. Reacting swiftly, she rose from her seat on the couch and approached, choosing to sit next to the girl.

With a keen eye, Madelaine decided to take immediate action. Pretending to accidentally knock over the drink, she skillfully diverted attention from the potentially harmful situation. The liquid spilled, creating a distraction and allowing Madelaine to discreetly intervene without arousing suspicion.

“Oh I’m so sorry I’m drunk,” Madelaine says to the clearly furious man.

Madelaine continued to feign intoxication, wrapping her arms and legs around the girl. Concerned that Madelaine might topple over in her seemingly inebriated state, the girl instinctively secured her with an arm to provide stability. Sensing that his deceit was exposed, the man abruptly stood up and stormed off in anger.

“Girl, he was trying to drug you” Madelaine whispered as she unwrapped her hands and legs.

Upon realizing Madelaine wasn't drunk, the Asian girl raised her eyebrows in shock.

“Thank you” The girl replied.

Madelaine is shocked by the deep voice because they look so feminine yet their voice is so manly.

“I’m so sorry,” Madelaine quickly apologized

“It’s okay, I’m Jodi! My pronouns are whatever I look like to you.” Jodi says with a smile, reaching their hand out for a handshake.

Taking a better look, Madelaine could understand how she easily mistook them for a woman. The corset, skirt, and mesh top they wore only added to this misunderstanding. Madelaine decided to not think much of how others choose to express themselves.

“I’m Madelaine,” Madelaine replied, shaking Jodi’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Madelaine”

“Nice to meet you too, Jodi”